IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people think that modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effects #relationships
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Some hold the view that advanced
communication
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technology
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 is adversely affecting social
relationships
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. I mostly agree with
this
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 view since it can bring about greater misunderstandings and a lack of healthy
relationships
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although
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 it can facilitate human
interactions
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. The
first
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 justification for my agreement is that the utilisation of
technology
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 in
communication
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 has given rise to more frequent misunderstandings. More specifically,
people
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 may misinterpret what others convey due to the lack of genuine interaction as they converse with each other via online platforms.
For instance
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, with a pleasant tone and mischievous face,
people
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 can show that they are joking during face-to-face conversations.
However
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, if they communicate via networking sites
such
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 as Facebook in the same way, recipients can misunderstand the same utterance and falsely believe that the sender is angry or sarcastic
instead
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.
Therefore
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, there would arise growing dissatisfaction and outrage among individuals who have a habit of communicating virtually. Another reason why I agree that social
interactions
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 are being negatively impacted by current
communication
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technology
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 is that
people
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 can find it harder to establish trustful contacts.
This
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 is because there are numerous scammers, criminals and other corrupt individuals who approach others on social media for nefarious purposes, making them potentially suffer from many toxic and troubled online
relationships
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.
For example
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, Twitter users these days tend to raise their vigilance as they acknowledge that cybercriminals who make friends with them on
this
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 social platform can disguise themselves as genuine citizens who
then
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 go on to steal their personal information for financial fraud.
As a result
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, close-knit friendships are unlikely to be nurtured, potentially narrowing each individual’s circle of
relationships
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.
On the other hand
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, I concede that these breakthroughs can
also
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 improve
interactions
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 between individuals. Most importantly, cutting-edge
technology
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 allows engagement with their connections regardless of time and geographical constraints,
thus
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 facilitating the increase of social
interactions
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 and
therefore
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 enhancing human interpersonal
relationships
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. In conclusion, I strongly advocate the idea that technological advancements in
communication
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 can jeopardize social
relationships
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 as more misunderstandings can arise and reliability can be difficult to forge. It is advisable that
people
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 should favour face-to-face
interactions
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 to eliminate these drawbacks.
Submitted by phamthanhquy93 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
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