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Writing Samples
Band 7

Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

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Many kids have problems concentrating on their
class
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-work when in
school
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. Negative peer pressure and distractions from cell phone usage are the leading cause of
this
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.
However
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, both the parents and
school
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 authorities cautioning them will be of help.
To begin
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, a lot of
school
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-children lack focus at
school
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 for various reasons. An important one is that they are carried away with pressing mobile
phones
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 while in
class
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. Meaning that,
instead
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 of paying rapt attention to their
school
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 activities and teachers, they rather spend time playing video games and surfing the internet with their cell
phones
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.
Therefore
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, resulting in them having bad grades.
Secondly
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, many of them become too playful because of peer pressure and forget to listen in
class
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.
That is
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, they not only play with their friends while lectures are on but
also
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 are badly behaved and rude to their teachers.
For instance
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, many grade one American teachers complain that the majority of the students doing poorly with their studies are found to press
phones
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 a lot in
class
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.
Nevertheless
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, to solve
this
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, the
school
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 authorities need to pay more attention to
school
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 children while in
school
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. Pressing of
phones
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 in classrooms should be prohibited or
instead
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 be allowed only during break time.
Furthermore
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,
in addition
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, parents need to stop allowing their kids to go to
school
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 with their mobile devices. These will help them to be less distracted and
consequently
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 will become a healthy habit among them. In summary, pressing
phones
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 and playing in
class
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 are a few of the many reasons why kids lose attention in
school
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. The
School
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 authorities and their parents working hand in hand will go a long way to alleviate these concerns.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Concentration
  • Engagement
  • Curriculum
  • Attention span
  • Learning disorders
  • Interactive learning
  • Personalized learning
  • Supportive learning environment
  • Mental health
  • Organizational skills
  • Educational policy
  • Mindfulness
  • Screen time
What to do next:
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