IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choisces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choisces
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There is no doubt that these days everyone must make
choices
Use synonyms
 and choose between things in their life. The question is, are there various
choices
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 we could select? in
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss my opinion on
this
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 statement. In terms of diversity, today we have millions of
choices
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 we could nominate in every aspect of our life. The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that from trivial things to important and substantial ones we could pick from abundant options from what we prefer. To illustrate, relatively of food we could cook at home or go to any restaurant we want
due to
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 the increase of restaurants and
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 types.
In other words
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, in educational
choices
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, we have the liberty to select the suitable institution and professors we prioritize.
Also
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, in terms of luxury, we have a massiveness of recreational facilities to visit with multiple amusement activities provided.
Furthermore
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, there are diverse types of jobs we can labour in
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
However
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, even with the numerous elections we have today,
this
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 may limit our selection.
This
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 is because of the increase in opportunities, and the possibilities decreased.
Also
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, the desirable elections are no longer available.
Nonetheless
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, with time many prospects and
choices
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 are created so there is no limit to them. In conclusion, it is obvious that there are considerable things to choose from in every decision we
made
Wrong verb form
make
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 during our life span.
Therefore
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, I believe that it is helpful and beneficial to have a variety of alternative decisions because it gives us many opportunities to try and be occupied.
Submitted by mozonals2 on

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task response
The essay addresses various aspects related to the topic, but the argumentation lacks depth and focus.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates some coherence but lacks consistency in presenting and organizing ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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