Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. discus both these views, and give your opinion.
This
is an ongoing discussion regarding the importance of curriculum activities and studies. A group of individuals claims that physical tasks are more crucial in order to improve mental health.Linking Words
on the other hand
,some people believe that students should focus on books.Both situations have pros and cons. As far as I am concerned, I would like to hold the former opinion Linking Words
due to
some facts.
First of all,I will elaborate on the advantages Linking Words
to focus
on the academic system. Change preposition
of focusing
Firstly
,it is an outstanding way to improve reading skills Linking Words
as well as
writing.Linking Words
secondly
, it enhances the knowledge of pupils and gives them the ability to think outside of the box. Linking Words
Thirdly
,communication skills can cut the edge of creativity through debates.Linking Words
Last
but not least,maturity level grows up quickly.Linking Words
For example
,when I cast my mind back,I used to remember that,I got the first position in my school by dint of my outraged mentality,which I got through numerous dialogues with a different bunch of learners.
Alternatively,I am going to explain why some people give their vote to other activities Linking Words
instead
of studies.Linking Words
Furthermore
,they think that children's brains have no capacity to perform work on numerous works.In my opinion and Linking Words
also
scientists proved ,in Linking Words
childhood
kids have the ability to Add a comma
childhood,
perform
multitask and can learn more than one language.Verb problem
apply
Moreover
,after school time parents can play games with their children.
In conclusion, Linking Words
due to
these facts, I would prefer that in school time students Linking Words
need
focus on learning skills Verb problem
apply
instead
of playing games and watching animated movies,which can be available at home time.Linking Words
Submitted by afvirk786 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay responds to the task in a general sense, but there are areas for improvement. Try to explore both viewpoints equally and provide a more balanced analysis. For instance, you might elaborate more on the benefits of physical education for a child's overall development.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, work on connecting your paragraphs more logically. The transition between discussing academic benefits and the importance of physical activities should be smoother. Consider using more linking phrases or words to improve the flow.
task response
Although your ideas are clear, they could be more detailed. Instead of general statements, provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This would help to clearly demonstrate your point of view and strengthen your arguments.
structure
Your introduction sets the context effectively by acknowledging both viewpoints before stating your stance. This is a good strategy for setting up the discussion.
structure
The conclusion summarizes your opinion clearly, reiterating your stance on the issue. This helps to give your essay a sense of closure.