Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

At present, alternative

medicines

and

treatments

have become more popular than they were.

In addition

, people can access more sources of information and some of them believe that visiting doctors in a hospital is not the best way to recover from their illness.

Also

, some alternative

treatments

are cheaper than the normal ones.

This

essay will elaborate on the reasons why I think

this

is a negative development.

To begin

with, there are

treatments

which are developed from local people’s beliefs.

Furthermore

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

no scientific evidence supporting the

treatments

This

is dangerous for patients and there might be negative effects on their bodies.

For example

, some

medicines

have not been verified and approved by the government. If the patients take those drugs for years, drugs will accumulate in their bodies.

Consequently

, the patients will have cancers or other

diseases

in the future.

Moreover

, there are many advanced devices in the hospital which can help doctors accurately diagnose patient’s symptoms. Without those tools, the evaluation may go wrong, and

diseases

are not eliminated.

For instance

, heart

diseases

require specific techniques and devices to find the cause of symptoms. It cannot be observed with eyes since blood vessels are small and complex.

To sum up

, alternative

medicines

and

treatments

have many drawbacks. It causes bad effects on the patient’s body if those

medicines

are not tested, and the

diseases

may not be cured

due to

the wrong diagnosis. Those are the reasons why I think that

this

is a negative development.

Submitted by Punpun on Fri May 17 2024

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task achievement

Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics that discuss the dangers of unverified alternative medicines.

coherence cohesion

Work on transitioning smoothly between your points. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively framed, setting the stage and summarizing your argument well.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt thoroughly and presents a clear argument against the use of alternative medicines over conventional treatments.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some say that the most important thing abpit beimg rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extend do you agree pr disagree?

Many organizations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.