Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

At present, alternative
medicines
and
treatments
have become more popular than they were.
In addition
, people can access more sources of information and some of them believe that visiting doctors in a hospital is not the best way to recover from their illness.
Also
, some alternative
treatments
are cheaper than the normal ones.
This
essay will elaborate on the reasons why I think
this
is a negative development.
To begin
with, there are
treatments
which are developed from local people’s beliefs.
Furthermore
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
no scientific evidence supporting the
treatments
.
This
is dangerous for patients and there might be negative effects on their bodies.
For example
, some
medicines
have not been verified and approved by the government. If the patients take those drugs for years, drugs will accumulate in their bodies.
Consequently
, the patients will have cancers or other
diseases
in the future.
Moreover
, there are many advanced devices in the hospital which can help doctors accurately diagnose patient’s symptoms. Without those tools, the evaluation may go wrong, and
diseases
are not eliminated.
For instance
, heart
diseases
require specific techniques and devices to find the cause of symptoms. It cannot be observed with eyes since blood vessels are small and complex.
To sum up
, alternative
medicines
and
treatments
have many drawbacks. It causes bad effects on the patient’s body if those
medicines
are not tested, and the
diseases
may not be cured
due to
the wrong diagnosis. Those are the reasons why I think that
this
is a negative development.
Submitted by Punpun on

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task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics that discuss the dangers of unverified alternative medicines.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between your points. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively framed, setting the stage and summarizing your argument well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt thoroughly and presents a clear argument against the use of alternative medicines over conventional treatments.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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