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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a breakdown in family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?

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In today's society, it is increasingly common for every family member to own their own modern devices,
such
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 as smartphones, tablets, or laptops.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 trend threatens family relationships by reducing face-to-face communication, I believe that
technology
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 can both hinder and enhance familial bonds, depending on how it is used. On the one hand, excessive use of
technology
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 can lead to isolation within families. Many people, particularly teenagers, spend a considerable amount of time on social media or gaming, often at the expense of interacting with family members.
This
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 creates a virtual barrier that limits meaningful conversations and shared experiences, which are essential for maintaining strong family ties.
Moreover
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, parents may
also
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 become distracted by work emails or social media,
further
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 contributing to a lack of engagement within the household.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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, if used wisely, can foster connection and improve communication. Family members living far apart can use video calls and messaging apps to stay in touch regularly, bridging geographical distances.
Moreover
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, shared activities,
such
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 as watching a movie or playing an online game together, can promote bonding in ways that were not possible before. In
this
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 context,
technology
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 serves as a tool for enhancing interaction rather than diminishing it. In conclusion,
while
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 there is potential for modern
technology
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 to disrupt family communication, it does not inherently lead to a breakdown in relationships. It is the manner in which families choose to engage with
technology
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 that determines its impact on their interactions.
Therefore
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, a balanced approach is key to maintaining strong family connections in the digital age.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, such as particular instances where technology has helped family communication.
task achievement
Ensure that each argument is equally developed for greater balance. Although the essay effectively addresses both sides, the first argument could benefit from further elaboration.
coherence cohesion
Try to integrate transition words more fluidly between sentences for an even smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing key points.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is well-maintained, making the argument easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the task, providing a balanced view that considers both potential negative and positive impacts of technology.
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