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Band 4

Some people spend a lotf money on hosting birthday paries, family functions and other celebrations. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #lotf #money #birthday #paries #functions #celebrations
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Nowadays, due to social media
such
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 as Instagram, people want to show off their lives. So they usually purchase luxury goods and spend a host of money on holding all kinds of parties. I want to consider both benefits and drawbacks and say my own view. On the one hand, some individuals believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 on some occasions
such
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 as birthday parties it is worth spending money on. Because you never have been at that age again.
In addition
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, they want to have a memorable memory of that celebration.
On the other hand
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, some other people think that, if you show your luxury parties or post a picture of that on social media, others that can not afford to hold a party the same as you will be jealous.
Thus
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,
this
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 issue may lead to
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 getting depressed
moreover
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 they may lose self-esteem.
As a result
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, it has so many adverse effects on people's lives and their mental health.
Furthermore
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,they can donate that payment to charity
instead
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 of hosting celebrations. So, helping to needy population is an alternative solution that leads to making them cheerful and enhancing life satisfaction. To conclude, in my opinion,
this
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 issue is kind of wasting budget. They can aid individuals who are money is tight for themselves
instead
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 of that. As I mentioned before, bad points are more than good points about
this
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 issue.
Submitted by aynaz.mombeini on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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