Some people spend a lotf money on hosting birthday paries, family functions and other celebrations. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Nowadays, due to social media

such

Linking Words

as Instagram, people want to show off their lives. So they usually purchase luxury goods and spend a host of

money

Use synonyms

on holding all kinds of parties. I want to consider both

Correct article usage

the benefit

show examples

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

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and

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

amd

Correct your spelling

and

say my own view. On the one hand, some individuals believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some

Change preposition

on some

show examples

occasions

such

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as birthday parties it

Add a missing verb

is worths

show examples

worths

Replace the word

worth

show examples

to spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

on.

show examples

Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

you never have been

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show examples

that age again.

In addition

Linking Words

, they want to have a memorable memory of that celebration.

On the other hand

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, some other people think that, if

Correct your spelling

you

show examples

show your luxury parties or post a picture of that

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media, others that can not afford to hold

party

Add an article

a party

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the same as you will be jealous.

Thus

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this

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issue may lead to

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

get

Wrong verb form

getting

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depressed

moreover

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they may

los

Correct your spelling

lose

self-esteem.

As a result

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, it has so many adverse effects on people's lives and their mental health.

Furthermore

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,they can donate that

money

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to charity

instead

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of hosting celebrations. So, helping to needy population is

Change the article

show examples

alternative solution that

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to making them cheerful and enhancing life satisfaction. To sum up, in my

opinion

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,opinion

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue is

kind

Correct article usage

a kind

show examples

of wasting budget. They can aid

Change preposition

apply

show examples

individuals who

Change the verb form

are

show examples

money

Use synonyms

is tight for themselves

instead

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of that. As I mentioned before, bad points are more than good points about

this

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issue.

aynaz.mombeiniFri Jan 06 2023

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

229 words

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Some people spend a lotf money on hosting birthday paries, family functions and other celebrations. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation，such as an unsatisfactory job or lack of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

Some people believe that we should have a four-day working week and still be paid the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree

nowadays, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. why. what can be done to tackle this?