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Band 2.5

Some people spend a lotf money on hosting birthday paries, family functions and other celebrations. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #lotf #money #birthday #paries #functions #celebrations
Nowadays, due to social media
such
 as Instagram, people want to show off their lives. So they usually purchase luxury goods and spend a host of
money
 on holding all kinds of parties. I want to consider both
Correct article usage
the benefit
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 and
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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amd
Correct your spelling
and
 say my own view. On the one hand, some individuals believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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some
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on some
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 occasions
such
 as birthday parties it
Add a missing verb
is worths
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worths
Replace the word
worth
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to spend
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spending
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money
.
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on.
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 Because
,
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apply
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 you never have been
in
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at
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 that age again.
In addition
, they want to have a memorable memory of that celebration.
On the other hand
, some other people think that, if
yo
Correct your spelling
you
show examples
 show your luxury parties or post a picture of that
in
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on
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the
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apply
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social media, others that can not afford to hold
party
Add an article
a party
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as
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apply
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the same as you will be jealous.
Thus
,
this
 issue may lead to
they
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them
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get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 depressed
moreover
 they may
los
Correct your spelling
lose
 self-esteem.
As a result
, it has so many adverse effects on people's lives and their mental health.
Furthermore
,they can donate that
money
 to charity
instead
 of hosting celebrations. So, helping to needy population is
a
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an
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 alternative solution that
lead
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leads
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 to making them cheerful and enhancing life satisfaction. To sum up, in my
opinion
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,opinion
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this
 issue is
kind
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a kind
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 of wasting budget. They can aid
to
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apply
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individuals who
is
Change the verb form
are
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money
 is tight for themselves
instead
 of that. As I mentioned before, bad points are more than good points about
this
 issue.
Submitted by aynaz.mombeini on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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