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Band 6.5

In some countries, it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

#countries #children #education #four #years #school #seven #eight
There is no doubt that formal education plays a prominent role in
children
’s growing up. While some people believe that it should be starting at the age of four, others argue that
children
 begin their
school
 life when they are seven or eight
years
 old much better. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I support the former. To commence with, it is true that
children
 who start
school
 life at seven or eight
years
 old tend to have more time with their parents, which can avoid separation anxiety.
Additionally
, some
children
 will sick frequently at a nursery where various viruses are spread widely among their classmates causing parents to need more to take care of them. What’s more, in terms of financial factors, most countries don’t provide free daycare service before starting primary
school
, so parents have to pay more for the preschool expense, increasing families’ economical burden.
By contrast
, there are many benefits to starting
school
 at four
years
 old. During their early
years
,
children
 have outstanding learning capabilities and memory skills. To give an illustrative example, studies conducted by some research institutes show that young brain development starts at four
years
 old
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it could start processing information.
Furthermore
, the
school
 is a microcosm of the world, here,
children
 interact with their peers and teachers, which could help them grow into well-disciplined and improve their social ability, which is more beneficial for their mental health than only staying at home with family. In conclusion,
although
 starting formal education late will reduce financial pressure, there are numerous benefits for a child to accept formal education in a professional institution， especially
it
Correct word choice
because it
show examples
 boosts the intellectual growth of
children
.
Submitted by jingjing on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • formal education
  • advisable
  • structured learning
  • academic skills
  • socialization
  • competitive edge
  • cognitive development
  • language acquisition
  • play-based learning
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • cognitive abilities
  • reduce stress
  • childhood
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