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Band 6

*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

#*computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
Nowadays we are living in the era of the technology, computers become a crucial part in every field
hence
, some people believe it is a nessceray tool we can'
t
 dispense without it. Other believe it has a negative impact on the society, in
this
 essay I shall elaborate the different points of view.
To begin
 with, the present of computer beside the human cognitive skills has a significant matter
as well as
, it improves the quality of the field.
Consequently
 , leading to time consumed and accurate data,
that is
 the human skills can'
t
 manage alot of data is a short time ;
therefore
, the efficacy of computers parciptate in the renaissance of the community.
For example
: A.I nowadays has the ability to do missions
while
, the human capacity can'
t
 bare it like chat Gtp can do all enquiries that needed from.
On the other hand
, the idea of depending on the compture has a negative point of view ,
according to
 suppression the man ability to do the duty by himself,
moreover
 It is making him used to depend on the electronic device
instead
 of doing it personally,
for example
: the invention of robots
as a result
, the efficacy of the physical skills will decrease.
Although
, human who is the controller, but still it occupy the human mission. To sum it up, the present of computer technology has a controversial issue, some people prefer
while
 other have a concern from the using of
this
 technology, my point of view I concur with the accutat useage of
this
 significant invention .
additionally
, the community shouldn'
t
 take all the advantage of A.I and tend them to the laziness.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay in clear paragraphs. Start with an introduction, followed by separate body paragraphs for each argument, and conclude with a strong conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your thesis statement should be clear and concise, providing a roadmap for what will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity. For example, 'Moreover It is making him used to depend on the electronic device instead of doing it personally' can be rephrased for clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your points by providing more elaboration and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples that are directly relevant to your points. This can make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view which is important for a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your point of view, providing a clear end to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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