IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

1. Do you agree or disagree with following statement? Children should be required to help with household tasks as soon as they are able to do so.

#children #household #tasks
A child today is an adult tomorrow. I totally agree that housework should be assigned to the
kids
 starting from simple ones and levelling up to the one
complicated
Correct pronoun usage
onescomplicated
show examples
. In
this
 essay, my opinion towards
this
 view will be explained
Firstly
, letting
kids
 handle some small tasks from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age will equip them to be self-reliant. We all know that parents will not stay alive forever to pamper their beloved one, so the quicker the
kid
 can pick up the household skills
such
 as cooking, doing laundry or cleaning, the stronger they can stand on their feet when they grow up.
For example
, in Japan, parents, especially a mom, encourage their children to help run simple errands from pre-kindergarten age.
This
 is a social norm to treat their
kids
 like young adults and get them ready to face the real world.
Moreover
, asking for help from the youngster
also
 relieves parents' workloads. Nowadays, most married females have turned into working moms
instead
 of full-time housewives. In consequence, mothers have more things needed to be accomplished, at work and at home. Having a
kid
 supporting some small tasks,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will reduce the mother's workload more or less.
Furthermore
, it creates a closer relationship within a family through a sense of empathy. The
kid
 will learn and appreciate the process of all the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 not just take it for granted and only focus on the outcome. In conclusion, some family tasks should be given to the
kids
 since they are ready.
This
 will not just only encourage the
kid
 to grow strongly but
also
 relieve the working mom's workload
Submitted by minichariie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: