IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In a response to the perceived threat of terrorism, security measures in many of the world’s major cities have been increased significantly in recent years. Do the benefits of having increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#threat #terrorism #security #measures #world’s #cities #years
For many years until now, People and
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 tend to argue about insecurity all over the world.
Alhougt
Correct your spelling
Although
, some
indivudual
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
 trust the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 is their decision
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe it is
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much. In
this
 essay, we are going to describe the benefits and the drawbacks of
security's
Change noun form
security
show examples
 measures taken by the world's major cities.
First
 of all, you can agree that
politiciens
Correct your spelling
politicians
 prioritize
security
 for
everbody
Correct your spelling
everybody
 in every country. For
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
 in France, after two
terrorism
Replace the word
terrorist
show examples
 attacks in Paris
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 in Nice, the Army was implanted everywhere
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 in
Add an article
the airport
an airport
show examples
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
 and around public monuments. People are
feelling
Correct your spelling
feeling
 safer
since
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the growing number of
Add an article
a policeman
the policeman
show examples
policeman
Fix the agreement mistake
policemen
show examples
.
Therefore
, public events like
Correct article usage
the Christmass
show examples
Christmass
Correct your spelling
Christmas
 market
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
chut
Correct your spelling
shut
 down but nobody was hurt.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 hand,
security
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been for the
last
 years increased in so many ways that other people believe that it is
streeful
Correct your spelling
stressful
 to be
surounded
Correct your spelling
surrounded
 by the Army. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, I remember a TV documentary talking about insecure youngsters because they saw guns too frequently.
This
 measure was to protect,
nevertheless
, children
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 impacted badly by
this
 situation. About public events like
Correct article usage
the christmass
show examples
christmass
Correct your spelling
Christmas
 market, lots of parents disagree with
this
 decision because they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 thinking of the benefits to spend time with others. To
concluded
Change the form of the verb
conclude
show examples
, I would like to share that the
security
 of the Nation is not
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
essay
,
also
 decisions
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 to
be make
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 even if the danger is
unknow
Correct your spelling
unknown
show examples
. In my opinion, measures
are always take
Change the verb form
are always taken
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 late and we have to face
sad
Add an article
the sad
a sad
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 with
deaht
Correct your spelling
death
 and casualties. Maybe is time to face reality.
Submitted by laniesse.sebastien on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: