Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As schooling tends to play an instrumental part in a person's life, the topic of whether a student should complete K-12 training can be rather controversial. From my perspective, I agree with
this
point of view to a certain degree.
On the one hand, early schooling equips children and adolescents with the relevant skills and prepares them for real-life problems. Firstly
, literacy and numeracy are crucial knowledge that is
taught during the early years. In addition
, students then
further
acquire more knowledge about science, arts, and literature in middle and high school. K-12 training is the bedrock upon which higher education is built. As a result
, many brilliant high schoolers, after completing their study in universities, have become great doctors, engineers and scientists later on. Thus
, the knowledge obtained from primary to high school is essential not only to the development of individuals but also
to the future development of the country. Secondly
, children and juveniles need a safe and educational environment in schools where they are protected and properly educated by professionals like teachers and coaches before they turn adults at the age of eighteen. Furthermore
, teenagers who leave the educational environment early are likely to engage in gang activities. Schools are the best place for young learners to stay until they are ready for the challenges of life as adults.
Admittedly, many underprivileged students cannot afford formal schooling up to high school on account of a lack of financial resources, especially in developing countries where education systems are not sufficiently subsidized by the government. However
, these problems can be addressed and resolved by adequate allocation of funds for teaching and training for everyone up to 18 years of age by the local authorities.
In conclusion, children and teenagers should try to complete their first 18 years in educational institutions due to
the numerous benefits these educational institutions can offer. Government
should Correct article usage
The government
also
take more initiatives to support the education system by subsidizing tuition.Submitted by taduyvuong on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay clearly addresses the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. However, try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging and addressing counter-arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, linking back to the main topic effectively. Your ideas are logically organized, but you can enhance cohesion by using more cohesive devices such as linking words and referencing.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is varied and generally accurate. To further improve your lexical resource, consider using more precise and sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic. Additionally, aim for a more natural and less repetitive use of vocabulary throughout the essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is good, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Ensure that your sentences are consistently accurate and precise, and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage for further improvement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!