IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You need to take leave from your work of over one month for personal reasons. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain the reason for the leave and the length of leave you need explain how you will keep up-to-date while you’re away suggest how your work could be covered while you are away Write at least 150 words You do NOT need to write any addresses Begin your letter as follows: Dear....,

#work #month #manager #reason #leave #length #you’re #addresses
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Dear Mr John, I am writing to formally request a leave of absence from work for six weeks, starting from December 25th. The reason for the request is too personal. My immediate family member, my mother is diagnosed with a serious medical condition and my family needs my immediate support during
this
 critical situation.
However
, I understand that I am currently working on projects that are imperative. I am committed to ensuring a smooth transition during my absence. I will delegate all the activities that I am currently working on to a capable team member who will continue my responsibilities,
while
 I am away from work.
In addition
, I will be checking emails regularly and be available to answer phone calls at any time to address any queries or issues with the project.
Furthermore
, I will ensure that I will document all the project-related tasks and activities that I have completed so far with detailed notes before I hand
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 over to our team. I hope you can understand my situation and I am committing to join back on February 1st to take over my responsibilities. Thank you. Yours sincerely, Jee
Submitted by jeeanay on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity when stating the reason for your leave, rather than using vague terms like 'too personal.'
coherence cohesion
For better coherence, consider informing about the leave duration in the same sentence or paragraph where you mention the reason for leave.
task achievement
Maintain the logical sequence of information, which you've done well, but ensure that the final request for leave approval is clear and stands out.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address how your responsibilities will be managed in your absence, perhaps by suggesting the name of a capable team member.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing, each paragraph should have a central theme and subsequent details should expand upon it.
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