People should be allowed to continue to work as long as the want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

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In many countries, people are forced to retire after their 60s by the government. Some human beings think that they should be permitted to stay working whenever they want to stop. I totally disagree with

this

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opinion, because they will be tired both physically and mentally, when they are older.

Moreover

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, young generations should have the opportunity to have an occupation.

Firstly

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, older people are getting exhausted more easily than younger ones

due to

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their biological conditions.

For example

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, senior citizens have less energy than younger citizens .

Furthermore

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, even if the older workers have more experience, they are slower to do their tasks.

Additionally

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this

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tiredness is not only physical but

also

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mental. Even if elders feel they have some energy to continue working, most of them have some memory problems

as a result

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of their brain functions decreasing.

For example

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, lots of diseases causing memory loss,

such

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as Alzheimer's, occur in later ages.

On the other hand

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, if people stay working after their 60s, the young generation can not have a chance to be employed because the working population is saturated.

Hence

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, it can cause junior men and women to have depression.

For example

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, if humans can not have a job after graduation, they have to live with their parents because they can not afford the rent of a new flat.

Therefore

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, they will be depressed and they will not be able to find their own way because they don't have any independence. In conclusion, I think individuals should be forced to retire after a certain age because they can't work properly when they don't have enough biological conditions

due to

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the ageing process.

Nevertheless

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, new generations should be given a chance to become independent individuals.

Submitted by bloodylady on Tue Sep 03 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.

task achievement

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-supported and the arguments are logically structured.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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People should be allowed to continue to work as long as the want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

Some people say that large companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?