Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefits, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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●In our modern life, the majority of individuals emphasize that

people

should be able to utilize creatures in order to satisfy their private profits, while other humans strongly believe that the rights of

animals

should be preserved. From my point of view, all

people

should be taken care

for

Change preposition

show examples

animals

because they

also

have the right to live ●On the one hand, there are benefits of using creatures in their business.

People

can use it to do many things

such

as milking, eating or working. Many poor countries usually use

animals

to aid farmers

mow

Add the particle

to mow

show examples

grasses because there are

unexpensive

Correct your spelling

inexpensive

show examples

rather than purchasing a mower and it is easily controlled by farmers.

For example

, In the past, all growers in Thailand forced buffaloes to

plow

Change the spelling

plough

show examples

the soil over the gigantic rice field before

Correct article usage

the rain

show examples

rain

Replace the word

rainy

show examples

season for growing rice. When the rain fell down, the grass grew on the rice paddle.

Then

people

will take buffaloes to mow it.

Moreover

, some

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

cages

animals

and construct a zoo for receiving high profits from visitors. ●

On the other hand

, there are

also

advantages

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show examples

protecting animal rights. Life is necessary for every organism

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

moral individuals should not do awful

others

Change preposition

to others

show examples

. As well as

this

, everyone must follow the ethical law

that is

respect other life.

For instance

, a lot of cosmetic companies do experiments on rabbits that are caused animal deficiency and it is

unmoral

Correct your spelling

immoral

because it makes them suffer from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature.

Then

, many companies

are forbade

Change the verb form

are forbidden

show examples

by humans because they do not follow the law.

Besides

that, if we do not look after or prevent creatures, they can extinct from our world which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can lead

damage

Change preposition

to damage

show examples

effects on our ecosystem. ● In conclusion, I strongly believe both sides of the argument

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

their positive side.

However

, it seems that should take care

Change preposition

of animal

show examples

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

because it is ethical and they can maintain the natural environment

Submitted by Premium Version on Sat Jan 07 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal rights
exploitation
ethical considerations
biodiversity
ecosystem balance
animal welfare
suffering
humane treatment
medical research
environmental sustainability
natural food chain
technological alternatives

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