IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefits, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #humans #animals #rights
●In our modern life, the majority of individuals emphasize that
people
 should be able to utilize creatures in order to satisfy their private profits, while other humans strongly believe that the rights of
animals
 should be preserved. From my point of view, all
people
 should be taken care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
animals
 because they
also
 have the right to live ●On the one hand, there are benefits of using creatures in their business.
People
 can use it to do many things
such
 as milking, eating or working. Many poor countries usually use
animals
 to aid farmers
mow
Add the particle
to mow
show examples
 grasses because there are
unexpensive
Correct your spelling
inexpensive
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 rather than purchasing a mower and it is easily controlled by farmers.
For example
, In the past, all growers in Thailand forced buffaloes to
plow
Change the spelling
plough
show examples
 the soil over the gigantic rice field before
Correct article usage
the rain
show examples
rain
Replace the word
rainy
show examples
 season for growing rice. When the rain fell down, the grass grew on the rice paddle.
Then
,
people
 will take buffaloes to mow it.
Moreover
, some
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 cages
animals
 and construct a zoo for receiving high profits from visitors. ●
On the other hand
, there are
also
 advantages
of
Change preposition
to
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 protecting animal rights. Life is necessary for every organism
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
moral individuals should not do awful
others
Change preposition
to others
show examples
. As well as
this
, everyone must follow the ethical law
that is
 respect other life.
For instance
, a lot of cosmetic companies do experiments on rabbits that are caused animal deficiency and it is
unmoral
Correct your spelling
immoral
 because it makes them suffer from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Then
, many companies
are forbade
Change the verb form
are forbidden
show examples
 by humans because they do not follow the law.
Besides
 that, if we do not look after or prevent creatures, they can extinct from our world which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can lead
damage
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to damage
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 effects on our ecosystem. ● In conclusion, I strongly believe both sides of the argument
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 their positive side.
However
, it seems that should take care
Change preposition
of animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 because it is ethical and they can maintain the natural environment
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