With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

In the contemporary world, the pressing need for oil and other nonrenewable resources has driven exploration into pristine areas.
While
some potential advantages exist, the drawbacks of fossil fuel drilling, as they precipitate environmental degradation and impact indigenous communities, can significantly outweigh their merits. Admittedly, the potential advantages of
finite
Correct article usage
a finite
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energy
supply can be seemingly feasible to stimulate local economic growth by providing job opportunities for remote inhabitants.
For instance
, an influx of positions in construction labour can emerge with the arrival of renowned
energy
corporations, which can contribute to economic expansion.
Nevertheless
, despite
such
initiatives stimulating local economic prosperity
initially
,
this
growth is often temporary and unstable. Excessive reliance on a single industry,
such
as resource extraction, can render the economic fabric vulnerable to maintaining its dynamics
due to
the depletion of exhaustible
energy
.
Consequently
,
Instead
of long-term prosperity, they could face financial hardship
as well as
limited possibilities for developing other sustainable industries in the future.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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severe environmental destruction is the most significant disadvantage. Drilling activities can lead to deforestation, soil erosion, and water contamination, severely disrupting the delicate ecosystems that have existed for millennia.
This
loss of biodiversity
due to
habitat destruction can be catastrophic, causing irreversible damage to flora and fauna.
Furthermore
, petroleum leakages, which are not uncommon in extraction processes, can lead to long-term environmental disasters by polluting both wildlife habitats and farmlands, severely affecting the living standards of residents and the survival of wildlife.
Additionally
, indigenous communities living in these remote areas might face displacement and the loss of their traditional way of life. In fact, many remote areas are home to indigenous communities that rely on the natural environment for their livelihoods. Fossil fuel exploration can disrupt their traditional way of life, leading to cultural and social consequences.
For example
, in a remote place in China, Heilongjiang province, where
oi
Correct your spelling
oil
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drilling has been perpetuated for decades, the increased barren farmlands and shrinking natural places make all Indigenous people gradually convert to a conducive environment for living, opting for modern lifestyles over traditional ones.
This
movement leads to profound social consequences in the long term. In summation,
while
the short-term benefits of escalating job vacancies boosted economic advancement, the prolonged negative consequences of sustainable economic structure can be destructive.
Instead
, the downsides of ecosystem disruption
as well as
social outcomes like demolishing the living stances of Indigenous groups cannot be overstated.
Hence
, it is crucial to consider more sustainable and less harmful alternatives to meet the growing
energy
demands without compromising the integrity of our most cherished, pristine environments.
Submitted by shaoyuzhu08 on

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introduction conclusion present
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position. Continue to ensure that your essays have a clear beginning and end.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure and it's easy to follow the progression of your arguments. However, watch out for slight awkwardness in phrasing in some sections. For example, you could rephrase "render the economic fabric vulnerable to maintaining its dynamics" to something more concise.
complete response
You have addressed the task well and your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Try to keep an eye on the minor language issues that slightly affect clarity, such as ‘oi drilling’ instead of ‘oil drilling’.
relevant specific examples
Try to use more varied examples to strengthen your argument. The example of Heilongjiang province is good but adding one or two more specific examples would have made your argument more compelling.
supported main points
You used transition words effectively to connect your ideas like “Admittedly” and “On the other hand,” ensuring smooth flow. Continue to use these to maintain coherence and cohesion.
logical structure
Your essay has a coherent structure with each paragraph flowing logically into the next. This enhances readability.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are effectively used to frame your argument and summarize your points. This provides clarity and a strong frame for the main body.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas, which shows a good understanding of the topic. The arguments were logical and well-explained.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy sources
  • industrial growth and development
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • revenues
  • technological advancements
  • extraction process
  • biodiversity
  • natural habitats
  • indigenous communities
  • displacement
  • traditional way of life
  • environmental disasters
  • oil spills
  • long-lasting effects
  • widespread effects
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