Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

In many societies, a number of

children

face difficulties to pay attention or concentrating on their studies in school or tutoring. When we think about we were young, most of us suffered in

this

situation. The main reasons for

this

situation are

due to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lack of concentration and kids thinking that a

class

is boring. These reasons are coped with each other.

Children

consider that a

class

is boring so a lack of concentration

Add a missing verb

is cause

show examples

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

. To solve

this

problem, we should think about how

children

can concentrate on or pay attention to their

class

First

, schools and

teachers

should make a study funnier. To make a study funnier,

teachers

have to

research

for

class

so that younger can enjoy their

class

First

, in the

research

from Seoul National

University

and Konkuk

University

, researchers found that most

children

prefer

classes

held outdoors.

Also

70% of

children

who answered that they prefer

classes

held outdoors wanted to have outdoor

classes

every day. In

this

research

, researchers found that

children

's concentration in a

class

had increased rapidly compared to normal

classes

Furthermore

teachers

and schools should consider with

quality

of studies. Not all

teachers

, but some

teachers

' teaching

quality

is very crappy. In the

research

from Korea

University

and Waseda

University

, researchers found that 65% of middle school

students

in Korea and 59% of middle school

students

in Japan speak that they can not concentrate in their

classes

due to a tutor's

quality

. To sum up,

teachers

and schools should make an effort to increase the

quality

of their studies and ask

students

about their preferences for

classes

Also

, when societies take care of the

children

's studying climates,

students

will be able to concentrate on their

classes

Submitted by soominkim0618 on Sat Jan 07 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Concentration
Engagement
Curriculum
Attention span
Learning disorders
Interactive learning
Personalized learning
Supportive learning environment
Mental health
Organizational skills
Educational policy
Mindfulness
Screen time

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Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also people nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Disruptive school children have negative influence on others. students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view

Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

7. In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society?

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?