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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful members of society. Others say the purpose of education is to fulfill personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Education
Use synonyms
 is an essential part of our lives, as it provides knowledge and helps shape individual personalities in order to create a better society. Some
people
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 argue that the purpose of
education
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 is to pursue personal ambitions,
while
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 others believe it should be used to contribute to society. I completely agree with those who believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 should use their
education
Use synonyms
 to benefit the community. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views with relevant examples and share my opinion.
Firstly
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, as individuals, we are all responsible for contributing to our communities and helping create a better place to live.
For example
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, students can visit rural areas where many
people
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 are unaware of the value of
education
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 and help them understand the basic importance of learning. These efforts can lead to a brighter future and improve the lives of future generations. A historical example is Jyotiba Phule, one of the first Indians to fight for
education
Use synonyms
 rights. He and his wife, Savitribai Phule, opened schools for girls and boys at a time when it was very difficult. Their efforts paved the way for others and made
education
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 more accessible for everyone.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 use
education
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 to pursue their own dreams,
such
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 as becoming doctors, lawyers, or entrepreneurs.
For instance
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, one of my friends always wanted to become a successful criminal lawyer. She studied law for five years, completed her practical training, and is now one of the top criminal lawyers in her city.
This
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 shows that
education
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 can
also
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 help individuals achieve their personal goals.
To sum up
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, in my opinion,
education
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 plays a vital role in both personal and social development.
While
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 it is important to follow
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 dreams, we should
also
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 use our knowledge to give back to society. By spreading information and encouraging innovation, we can create a better place for future generations.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, such as 'however' and 'furthermore'.
task achievement
The essay presents a strong argument for using education to benefit society, which is a clear viewpoint. This is very good!
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help support the main points made in the essay.
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