IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries young people of 18 can drive a car, vote, get married etc. What do you think is the appropriate age to take on adult responsibilities?

#countries #people #drive #car #vote #age #adult #responsibilities
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In
this
 modern era, few countries are distributing some rights to the middlers who are just 18
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 old. Some
third world
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third-world
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nation's
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nations
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such
 as China, India, and, Africa,
for instance
,
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
Add an article
a car
the car
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car
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cars
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, taking participation in a vote, and,
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 married
in
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at
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 early age. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 strongly believe that it is
a
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an
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 adequate trend due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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 that it is
a
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apply
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similar to freedom of life. To commence with, the most preponderant fact is that juveniles are playing a vital role in the 21 century because they are
backbone
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the backbone
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 of the country. Another pivotal
aspects
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aspect
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 is that if the children take responsibility
initially
, they will be preparing for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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.
For instance
, driving
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vehicle is a crucial task,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
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 need a lot of practice and skills that's why higher authorities are giving these kinds of activities to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngster.
Secondly
, democracy plays a significant role in the contemporary world, and,
vote
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the vote
a vote
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 is a paramount part of the voting system, individuals have fundamental rights for votes and developing
continent
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continents
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such
 as America, France, and, Germany give
this
 opportunity to young
society
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societies
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.
Thirdly
, marriage is an ancient concept in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human civilization, poor regions
such
 as Pakistan, Nepal, and, Bhutan marriage their infants in the early stage of development due to poverty,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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law makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
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is
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are
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always
fascinating
Wrong verb form
fascinated
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 to find quick fix
of
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for
show examples
this
affairs
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affair
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. Perhaps, that's why they are
allowing
Wrong verb form
allowed
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 to marry
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age. In
conclude
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conclusion
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, it
is rely
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relies
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 on
situation
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the situation
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 of the land, in
this
throat cut
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throat-cut
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 competition,
government
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the government
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 should always thinking about their young generation and about their future. In my
preference
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,preference
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 it is a superior
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
 which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 the younger generation.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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