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Band 4

In some countries young people of 18 can drive a car, vote, get married etc. What do you think is the appropriate age to take on adult responsibilities?

#countries #people #drive #car #vote #age #adult #responsibilities
In
this
 modern era, few countries are distributing some rights to the middlers who are just 18
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 old. Some
third world
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third-world
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nation's
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nations
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such
 as China, India, and, Africa,
for instance
,
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
Add an article
a car
the car
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car
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cars
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, taking participation in a vote, and,
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 married
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 early age. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 strongly believe that it is
a
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an
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 adequate trend due to
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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 that it is
a
Change the article
apply
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similar to freedom of life. To commence with, the most preponderant fact is that juveniles are playing a vital role in the 21 century because they are
backbone
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the backbone
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 of the country. Another pivotal
aspects
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aspect
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 is that if the children take responsibility
initially
, they will be preparing for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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.
For instance
, driving
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vehicle is a crucial task,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
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 need a lot of practice and skills that's why higher authorities are giving these kinds of activities to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngster.
Secondly
, democracy plays a significant role in the contemporary world, and,
vote
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the vote
a vote
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 is a paramount part of the voting system, individuals have fundamental rights for votes and developing
continent
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continents
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such
 as America, France, and, Germany give
this
 opportunity to young
society
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societies
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.
Thirdly
, marriage is an ancient concept in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human civilization, poor regions
such
 as Pakistan, Nepal, and, Bhutan marriage their infants in the early stage of development due to poverty,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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law makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
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is
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are
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always
fascinating
Wrong verb form
fascinated
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 to find quick fix
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
affairs
Fix the agreement mistake
affair
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. Perhaps, that's why they are
allowing
Wrong verb form
allowed
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 to marry
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
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, it
is rely
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relies
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 on
situation
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the situation
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 of the land, in
this
throat cut
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throat-cut
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 competition,
government
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the government
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 should always thinking about their young generation and about their future. In my
preference
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,preference
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 it is a superior
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
 which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 the younger generation.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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