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Band 5.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
A group of
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 think that
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 should be loyal to their own society and
work
 where they
trained
Add a missing verb
are trained
show examples
, while others argue that they should have a
right
 to choose anywhere they want.
Although
 it would provide a better situation for each nation if advanced-skill individuals
work
 for their society, it seems to me that everyone has the
right
 to choose whatever they planned for their life. On the one hand, many believe that high-trained
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
such
 as doctors, engineers, professional artists and so on could provide different advantages in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. From
contribute
Change the verb form
contributing
show examples
 to developing the economy of the
country
 to making the
country
 famous and proud.
In other words
, they should
be assist
Change the verb form
be assisted
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 improving their
country
.
Moreover
,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of experts may provide a negative circumstance for citizens.
Example
Add an article
An example
The example
show examples
 can be seen in
countries
 with high-rate of migration like Iran. For one thing, people who have a high-risk level of illness have to abundant the
country
 to give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional treatment due to
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 number of
Add an article
an expert
the expert
show examples
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 who
leaving
Change the form of the verb
left
show examples
 the
country
.
On the other hand
, opponents of
this
 view point out that everyone has a
right
 to decide where they will
work
. Choosing the nation where a person would like to
work
 is a basic
right
 according to democratic law.
In addition
, developed
countries
 provided them
better
Change preposition
with better
show examples
 career
prospect
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prospects
show examples
 and offered them
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future
Fix the agreement mistake
futures
show examples
,
hence
, it is not their fault, it is their government's frailty. For illustrate, the average salary of engineers is around 300.000 to 500.000 per month in
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
countries
, whereas the low income for them in high-rate migration
countries
 like Iran
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 they cannot even meet their basic needs. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
 it is emotionally
right
 that experts should
be struggled
Change to the active voice
struggle
have struggled
show examples
 where they
trained
Add a missing verb
are trained
show examples
, it is logical that they have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to decide
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their future plans
Submitted by ahmadpour.irsa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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