IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, children show less respect to elders. What are the causes of such behaviour? What can be done to address this situation?

#countries #children #show #respect #elders #behaviour #address #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is said that
children
Use synonyms
 around the world are showing disrespectful
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 to older people.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon might stem from the habit of using
smartphones
Use synonyms
 during school hours.
However
Linking Words
, addressing more family
activities
Use synonyms
 can tackle the problem of disrespect. In the first place, it must be considered that
smartphones
Use synonyms
 can have a negative impact on
children
Use synonyms
's attitudes toward
adults
Use synonyms
. Since
smartphones
Use synonyms
 are addictive,
children
Use synonyms
 may prefer spending more
time
Use synonyms
 using them than hanging out with
adults
Use synonyms
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, it leads to an extension of the gap between family members, which affects the way
children
Use synonyms
 behave toward
adults
Use synonyms
. Take Gen Alpha as a contextual example.
Due to
Linking Words
 the development of entertainment technologies,
children
Use synonyms
 spend the majority of their
time
Use synonyms
 surfing the internet so often that they start to show misbehaving actions toward elders. Another cause that must be taken into account is the educational curriculum. It is obvious that
children
Use synonyms
 spend more
time
Use synonyms
 at school than at home, so they are more social with their
friends
Use synonyms
. Over
time
Use synonyms
, they develop their personalities and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 with their
friends
Use synonyms
, thinking that the way they treat their
friends
Use synonyms
 is the same as that of
adults
Use synonyms
. Because of that, the way they act toward
adults
Use synonyms
 might not be appropriate and be considered disrespectful.
For instance
Linking Words
, Vietnamese parents have to suffer a lot when it comes to their
children
Use synonyms
's
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 learning from
friends
Use synonyms
 at school. Despite the fact that it is a global issue, the problem of
children
Use synonyms
 disrespecting elders can be solved by organizing more family
activities
Use synonyms
. It must be acknowledged that in order to teach
children
Use synonyms
 about their actions, parents can increase the value of family members through family work. By encouraging
children
Use synonyms
 to take part in
activities
Use synonyms
, they will have some
time
Use synonyms
 away from
smartphones
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 increasing the value of the elders in the
children
Use synonyms
's eyes.
As a result
Linking Words
, the gap between generations will be significantly smaller, and
children
Use synonyms
 will be more respectful toward older people. In conclusion,
smartphones
Use synonyms
 and study hours are the roots of a lack of respect among
children
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, organizing more family
activities
Use synonyms
 can enhance family relationships, which is the most effective solution to
this
Linking Words
 worldwide issue.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content & Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon to maintain strong coherence throughout the essay.
Language Use
Try to incorporate more diverse and complex sentence structures to showcase a higher level of language proficiency.
Supporting Examples
Expand on examples to fully illustrate your points, providing specific instances or real-world scenarios that underscore your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
You’ve done a commendable job in providing a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay.
Task Response
You effectively addressed the task, providing thorough explanations of causes and viable solutions pertaining to the issue of children's respect towards elders.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay displays a good logical flow and connection between ideas, facilitating a coherent read.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tradition
  • Cultural dynamics
  • Intergenerational relationships
  • Behavioral norms
  • Social cohesion
  • Technology-induced isolation
  • Role models
  • Etiquette
  • Institutional respect
  • Mutual understanding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: