IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #people’s #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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Some part of the population
think
Change the verb form
thinks
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 that the government should invest a part of the people's
money
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public services, but others
are not agree
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do not agree
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I reckon that it could be a positive and a negative thing. Nowadays, our society needs our investment and help. We can see a lot of problems in different areas
such
Linking Words
 as the bad quality of the school, medical care system and
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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roads, which destroy the whole infrastructure of the city.
Although
Linking Words
 it's a hard job to increase considerably the condition of the hospital, the government should take
small
Correct article usage
a small
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cuantity
Correct your spelling
quantity
 of
money
Use synonyms
 from the population and
to
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apply
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invest in public services.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the UK, the government takes a certain percentage of
money
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 from the workers and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 them properly, investing them in the country's needs. In fact,
this
Linking Words
prosper
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prospers
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 significantly the wealth of the state. My take on the
second
Linking Words
 statement, people might disagree with high taxes because
pleny
Correct your spelling
plenty
 of them are living in a corrupted state, and don'
t
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 earn much
money
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 to be able to live normally.
Population
Correct article usage
The population
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 don'
t
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 believe that their
money
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 will go to the state's needs.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, if they had earned much more
money
Use synonyms
 for a better life, they wouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 have rejected that kind of
taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
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.
For example
Linking Words
, I live in a poor country where the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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corruption is high.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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 the salaries are too small,
my
Correct word choice
and my
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 nation can'
t
Use synonyms
 afford
paying
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to pay
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 high taxes. In a nutshell, I think it's a good idea to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
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 our country, but we should be well informed
where
Change preposition
about where
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 the
money
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 going and for what they were used.
Submitted by cristi.corceac on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion of salary
  • Necessary public services
  • Economic growth
  • Quality of life
  • Redistributing wealth
  • Discourage
  • Motivation and productivity
  • Favorable tax conditions
  • Infringement on personal freedom
  • Balanced approach
  • Progressive tax system
  • Economic activity
  • Financial growth
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