IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #people’s #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
Some part of the population
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that the government should invest a part of the people's
money
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public services, but others
are not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement. I reckon that it could be a positive and a negative thing. Nowadays, our society needs our investment and help. We can see a lot of problems in different areas
such
 as the bad quality of the school, medical care system and
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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roads, which destroy the whole infrastructure of the city.
Although
 it's a hard job to increase considerably the condition of the hospital, the government should take
small
Correct article usage
a small
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cuantity
Correct your spelling
quantity
 of
money
 from the population and
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
invest in public services.
For instance
, in the UK, the government takes a certain percentage of
money
 from the workers and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 them properly, investing them in the country's needs. In fact,
this
prosper
Change the verb form
prospers
show examples
 significantly the wealth of the state. My take on the
second
 statement, people might disagree with high taxes because
pleny
Correct your spelling
plenty
 of them are living in a corrupted state, and don'
t
 earn much
money
 to be able to live normally.
Population
Correct article usage
The population
show examples
 don'
t
 believe that their
money
 will go to the state's needs.
Nevertheless
, if they had earned much more
money
 for a better life, they wouldn'
t
 have rejected that kind of
taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
show examples
.
For example
, I live in a poor country where the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
corruption is high.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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 the salaries are too small,
my
Correct word choice
and my
show examples
 nation can'
t
 afford
paying
Change the verb form
to pay
show examples
 high taxes. In a nutshell, I think it's a good idea to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our country, but we should be well informed
where
Change preposition
about where
show examples
 the
money
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 going and for what they were used.
Submitted by cristi.corceac on

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