Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is commonly thought that

pupils

Use synonyms

' entertainment movement should be educational and if not waste their valuable time. But I disagree with

this

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statement because we should give them priority to making decisions about that.

Firstly

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, academic subjects must be important to all

pupils

Use synonyms

, because they gain knowledge about the world fact from academic subjects. But it is not enough for the winning to achieve future goals.

Therefore

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, the

pupils

Use synonyms

gain life experience from the entertainment movement. ,

Also

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it is necessary to develop our Concernrate ability and protect from future illnesses.

For example

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,nowadays all the Sri Lankan schools before Start class they arrange for the students some exercise program. Because they believe regular exercise could develop students' Concentrated ability and they can reduce overweight.

Therefore

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, reducing overweight could protect From future illnesses

such

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as diabetes. So due to that fact, leisure activities must be compulsory.

Secondly

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, relaxation workouts could develop a creative mindset. Because while they are Studying they can draw art and could improve their creative skills. ,

Also

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some of the

pupils

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could listen to music and someday they can sing songs attractively.

Therefore

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, those who are developed creative talents could be found

Correct article usage

apply

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better

professions

Correct the article-noun agreement

profession

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. Because these days some companies not looking for people with educational backgrounds and need human talent who can do work with creative skills.

For example

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, doing a chef job is not necessary for the educational background, because all hospitality industries looking for people who have

Add an article

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creative experience.

That is

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the reason leisure activities are important to a pupil's life. In conclusion, I strongly believe that all

pupils

Use synonyms

should do entertainment workouts. Because they could get more benefits in their life and leisure workouts not necessary to be an academic.

asankabiz84Sun Jan 08 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

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(VMN)Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?