IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.

#people #habits #diet #control
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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, many
people
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 more fast
food
 and do not like to eat balanced
food
 and still
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 do exercise in a day.Because of,
this
 reason
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 most of
persons
Add an article
the persons
show examples
 have
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
.
However
, why do
people
 enjoy eating poor
food
 and have developed
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
this
 way?
To begin
 with,
this
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some reasons why
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 prefer fast
food
 more than green
food
 or balance
food
.
Firstly
, now many
people
 are more occupied than before, and that makes
people
 want to quickly eat
food
 and go find or work a job that
him
Change the pronoun
he
show examples
 or
her
Change the pronoun
she
show examples
 has because nowadays there are events and more things to do.
For example
, in
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 days majority of
people
 were free
time
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than now,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 made former
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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time
 to
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 diet
food
 and exercise so,that make
food
 culture
was not increase
Change the verb form
was not increasing
show examples
.
Secondly
,
this
 reason is related to the
first
 reason. Some
food
companies
 develop more fast
food
 due to everyone needing more
time
 to do something that they want to do.
For instance
, when you have working now and will be sent in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
days
Correct quantifier usage
few days
show examples
 that will make you not have more
time
 to eat good
food
 so, now fast
food
 is a good choice for you. In the
last
,
this
 paragraph will demonstrate the best solution
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now.
This
 solution is for the government to enact legislation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
companies
 in the country to allow citizens to work no more than 8 hours per day and 48 hours per week. In conclusion,
people
 are eating
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
poorer nutrition because
occupie
Correct your spelling
occupied
occupier
 and development of
food
companies
 and
solution
Correct article usage
the solution
show examples
 is government to enact legislation for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
companies
.
Submitted by Tum01230 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • poor eating habits
  • unhealthy food
  • fast food
  • convenience
  • advertising
  • nutrition
  • financial constraints
  • emotional eating
  • peer pressure
  • hectic work schedules
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • junk food
  • processed food
  • nutrient-rich
  • obesity
  • health consequences
What to do next:
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