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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice.

#people #work #business #employer #someone #choice
Everyone has a different view of his future, who sees how he wants to either have the plan to have an employer and own a business with many passions
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 or become only an employee at the company. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 ,hand working as an accountant or security or even manager in any say,
factory
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the factory
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 makes you get your salary neither the factory earns or loses
this
 year, working as an employer makes you not sure about your future.
Furthermore
, if you do not own the company, you will not have the right to take any decision you only be obeyed and you should do
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
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 the boss
tell
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tells
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 you. But
also
, there
is
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are
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 job prospects that give the possibility of promotion or higher level
work
 in future.
On the other hand
, having your own startup
make
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makes
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 you free to do whatever u see
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is right and you will be passionate to
work
 every day because you
work
 for your money
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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successful
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are successful
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.
In addition
 to the productivity that you will have during
you
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your
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 works.
Person
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The person
A person
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 will get better career progression. In my opinion, I would rather
to
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apply
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have my startup
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be able to succussed more,
also
 because I have many ideas and many hopes to achieve, working as
owner
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the owner
an owner
show examples
 for
employer
Correct article usage
an employer
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 maybe make you stressed and you will not
capable
Add a missing verb
be capable
show examples
 of having holidays like the employees you twenty-four hours a week overthinking about the records. In conclusion, I would say that every
work
 has advantages and disadvantages with different types of it, but always by
Add a hyphen
hard-working
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hard
Add an article
a hard
the hard
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 working person will live a good life with successful
Submitted by semsm42 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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