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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Young people are leaving their home from rural areas to study at work in cities. Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #home #areas #study #work #cities #development
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Major
cities
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' populations are increasing constantly because they provide
people
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a
Add the preposition
with a
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lot
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oflot
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 opportunities. So many young
people
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 immigrate to these
cities
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 from smaller ones or villages. I believe advantages are more than disadvantages. At
first
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, moving to a big city could have been seen as difficult because students go far from their families, friends and whole childhood
life
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.
Also
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, living in a city is expensive and exhausting. Plus, sometimes could be dangerous.
People
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 are more depressed and poor in
cities
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 because they struggle with so many problems.
However
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, if
people
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 always stay in the same area, they couldn't improve their vision and meet new
people
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. Moving to a new place is hard for families or elder
people
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 because they have roots and they are not independent of each other while younger are freer than them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, leaving the comfort zone is the
first
Linking Words
 step to personal development. When students get into a new society, they could define themselves as a person, apart from their families.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cities
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 provide many conferences, libraries or beneficial activities to students. All these events are helping their professional
life
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. While
cities
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 have many options for everybody, rural areas haven't any. After graduation,
people
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 could find a well-paid job and live a nice
life
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. To sum up, there are some advantages or disadvantages of moving to a different city.
This
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 could be hard at
first
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 but it would be an asset to a person who is moving. There are a lot of option and change to get a better
life
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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