Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #sports #lessons #school

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The phenomenon of physical lessons

should be

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

compulsory for the health of

children

Use synonyms

has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as people's views on

this

Linking Words

issue in question may be, I totally agree that schools should teach all

students

Use synonyms

how to do

sports

Use synonyms

. Of all the reasons why all

children

Use synonyms

should receive

sports

Use synonyms

lessons, probably the most significant one is that it is an opportunity

for introducing

Change preposition

to introduce

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

interest in

sports

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

. Once they find their favourite item,

then

Linking Words

they may keep doing

sports

Use synonyms

by themself since they would like to move better on it.

For example

Linking Words

, Some

students

Use synonyms

would find that they are good at football during PE class. After that, they

keep

Wrong verb form

kept

show examples

playing football and even graduated from

school

Use synonyms

. Their body becomes stronger than others without notice.

As a result

Linking Words

, they gain a healthy body for their future. Another reason that should not be overlooked is that education should be all-around. All-around education means the

school

Use synonyms

should not only teach knowledge but

also

Linking Words

help pupils develop healthy mentally and physically.

For instance

Linking Words

, schools would provide teachers and facilities in order to teach

students

Use synonyms

sport

Correct subject-verb agreement

sports

show examples

in the correct ways. Many pupils were injured because they

lack

Wrong verb form

lacked

show examples

a correct method to keep training their skills in their

sports

Use synonyms

item.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is necessary to teach

sports

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

in case an accident occurs in the

children

Use synonyms

. Under

this

Linking Words

line of thinking, I completely agree with the idea that physical lessons becoming compulsory in

school

Use synonyms

would bring more benefits to

children

Use synonyms

and why physical activities are important to kids.

Submitted by frankyimp on Mon Jan 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, with a sequence of ideas. However, the coherence and cohesion can be improved by better organizing the ideas and developing clearer transitions between paragraphs.

task achievement

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be further developed to provide a stronger and more engaging framework for the essay. Additionally, the ideas presented are relevant to the topic, but the response could be more in-depth and include more specific examples to support the points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

Cashless transaction order of the day most of the time people prefer using plastic cash do you think this is trend will be useful for the society.

If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?