IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientists and technologists are seems to be more valued in society than artists and muscians in what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technologists #society #artists #muscians
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The men of science have devoted themselves from the earliest times
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
to
welfare
Add an article
the welfare
show examples
 of the mankind.Artists
also
Linking Words
 play an important role in establishing a healthier society.
However
Linking Words
,I completely agree that
scientists
Use synonyms
 should be valued more due to their contributions
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 discoveries,inventions,and finding
Add an article
a cure
show examples
cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diseases.
Firstly
Linking Words
,technologists and investors make our lives easier through their inventions.If we look at the facilities around us
then
Linking Words
 we will realize that most of them are a result of
innovative
Correct article usage
the innovative
show examples
 work of our inventors.
For instance
Linking Words
,aeroplanes have revolutionized the field of transport.The journeys that took days,now merely take hours.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has enabled us to socialize with anyone across the world,sitting in our homes,which was near to impossible before.
Thus
Linking Words
,
innovation
Correct article usage
the innovation
show examples
 of our creative people like technologists
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 contributed to making life easier for us.
Secondly
Linking Words
,discoveries of the
scientists
Use synonyms
 have enhanced our understanding of the universe that we live in.
For example
Linking Words
,the climate specialists forecast the weather days before,so that we could plan our activities
accordingly
Linking Words
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,the knowledge of microbiologists in the field of
micro-biology
Correct your spelling
microbiology
show examples
 has benefitted us in making products
such
Linking Words
 as insulins,vaccines,antibiotics,and many others.
Hence
Linking Words
,the exploration of
universe
Correct article usage
the universe
show examples
 by these people of science
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has unravelled many advantages to us.
Lastly
Linking Words
,cures for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diseases were only possible due to
hard
Correct article usage
the hard
show examples
 work of our health
scientists
Use synonyms
.To illustrate,
creation
Correct article usage
the creation
show examples
 of vaccines for the recent COVID-19 pandemic is
creditted
Correct your spelling
credited
 to the devotion of our health technologists.
Similarly
Linking Words
,antibiotics were the most significant discovery in the history of mankind which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
also
Linking Words
 created by health researchers that have saved millions of lives so far. To summarise,even though artists
also
Linking Words
 hold an important place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,I strongly believe that
scientists
Use synonyms
 should be valued much more because of
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 contributions that they continue to make
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by saphire8619 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: