IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Playing games teaches us about life. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#games #life #support
There is no denying that playing
games
 are taking more and more time in
this
 generation. Some people believe that
games
 are essential to both children and adults since they teach people about life in a variety of life. To some extent, I agree that by playing
games
 we can improve attention, boost creativity, and set our future dreams, but we
also
 need to avoid addiction to some digital production. To commence with, playing
games
 can help us improve our attention as most
games
 require a high level of concentration if you want to gain a great goal.
In other words
, playing
games
 teach us to focus our mind and energy on small objectives to reach the ultimate goals. A recent study showed that certain types of brain training
games
 can improve working memory.
Moreover
, playing
games
 can help us stimulate the mind and boost creativity. According to media research,
games
 are not only just for entertainment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 bring different kinds of energy that make a person more analytical, which is crucial to creativity. In fact, to conquer a game, the player needs to pass its challenges as quickly as possible and solve various problems at the same time,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that your brain needs to fast run under those circumstances.
Furthermore
, children can determine their future goals through playing
games
.
For instance
, a girl with childhood memories of dressing up her dolls or designing doll clothes with paper may choose to become a fashion designer.
Likewise
, a soldier can state his reason for joining the army as the shooting
games
 he played as a young child. In conclusion, playing
games
 in the right way not only help us improve our skills, but
also
 teaches us worthy things about life. But anything too much is not good. For our health, we should choose suitable
games
 and balance outdoor activities.
Submitted by jingjing on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: