IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel
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Some believe that raising the price of
fuel
 is the best solution to tackle environmental issues across the globe. In my opinion,
this
 method would result in decreasing the effects of those problems,
however
, I would not consider it the most effective way since more policies should be implemented simultaneously in order to overcome
this
 challenge. Admittedly, burning
fuel
 is the essential cause of environmental challenges we have encountered for a long period.
Therefore
, increasing the cost of utilizing it would incentivize people to devise alternative methods to reduce the implications of
fuel
. By taking those steps, government authorities not only can reduce the number of individuals who possess cars and other types of vehicles but
also
 encourage scientists and engineers to invent new models of transport means that do not damage the environment.
For example
, the electric cars introduced by Tesla are eco-friendly, and as a source of power, they use electricity.
This
 innovation is followed by other companies as well to manufacture even more efficient products.
On the other hand
,
although
 the price of energy sources can significantly influence
the
Correct article usage
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global issues, it would not have any effective results once authorities implement solely
this
 remedy. It should be reinforced with other measures as well,
such
 as increasing people's awareness through various campaigns and training and enacting particular laws to punish members of the public,
such
 as charging fines and even convicting them for disobeying the rules. Harming the nature surrounding us should be considered the major fraction within societies. Those small but concrete steps will provide more sustainable outcomes.
To conclude
, an upward change in the cost of
fuel
 might have a major impact on tackling the challenges posed by nature,
however
, to increase its efficiency it should be executed with additional actions.
Submitted by Narmin on

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task achievement
Expand on the specific ways raising fuel costs can directly reduce environmental issues beyond just incentivizing alternative methods. This could help to provide a more detailed and well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the transition between ideas in body paragraphs is smooth and logical. Using more diverse linking phrases can enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, particularly the reference to Tesla's electric cars, which strengthens the argument.
task achievement
The response addresses both sides of the issue, providing a balanced perspective on the effectiveness of raising fuel prices to tackle environmental problems.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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