IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#world #resources #products #governments #people #date
It is undeniable
fact
 that natural sources have minute volume and
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 rate of the resources
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 massive. Maybe the higher authorities should courage pupils for
consumed
Add an article
the consumed
a consumed
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 as late as possible. The importance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature goods was always debatable and has now become more controversial. In my, opinion the position of
this
 trend appears to be more rational. In
this
, essay we will
further
 elaborate on the positive effects of
this
 notion and
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriads of reasons which will
further
 explain
this
 argument. But, the most alarming
fact
 is that in the
21st century
Add a hyphen
21st-century
show examples
 production rates of resources are declining rapidly due to the
fact
 that the demand is very high rather than manufacturing. Another pivotal aspect is that fashionable items
such
 as
attires
Fix the agreement mistake
attire
show examples
, sneakers, belts, and, cosmetic goods
Add a missing verb
are
show examples
always replaced because of
Add an article
the update
show examples
update
Replace the word
updated
show examples
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
. In, addition the article published in
eminent
Correct article usage
an eminent
show examples
 newspaper depicts that most of the population, in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 era,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not consuming whole commodities and
Correct article usage
the wastages
show examples
wastages
Change noun form
wastage's
show examples
 ratio
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
upward
Add an article
an upward
the upward
show examples
 trend. Needless to say, all these merits stand in good stead. Probing ahead,
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of the main underlying reasons regarding
this
 issue .
Although
, the most alarming
fact
 is that poor nations
such
 as India, China, Nepal, and, Bhutan, are not able to fulfil the fundamental needs of the nation and
on the other hand
,
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
 continents,
such
 as America, France, and, Europe waste products like garments, foods, and, makeup items because might fashion sense change. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that the survey conducted by the prestigious university Oxford revealed that 90 per cent of goods are wasted by society in North America.
Moreover
, affluent individuals are
also
 not utilising things properly.
Hence
, it is clearly stated why many are in favour of
this
 trend. In conclusion, according to the argument aforementioned above, one can reach a conclusion that the benefits of
this
 dilemma are instrumental too great.
Submitted by naffey07 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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