IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You will have a speech about your country on the international college event. Write a letter to the event’s planners about the following: - Ask about the date of the event - What speech you prepared/why it should be interesting -What equipment you will need for your speech

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Dear John, Hope you are doing well. As you know, my
speech
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 about my country
on
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the international college
event
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is due soon.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I wanted to ask
few
Correct article usage
a few

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 questions
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 share some ideas I had regarding the
event
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I am aware that the
event
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 will be taking place in May 2023.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I do not know the exact date of the
event
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 so can you please update me on the date and time? As for the
speech
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I was planning to talk about the language war that we fought against Pakistan in 1971. Upon researching a bit, I found
bangladesh
Change the capitalization
Bangladesh

If you don’t want bangladesh to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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 to be the only country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 fought for their language. I believe other students should know that a war like that
ever
Correct your spelling
never

The word ever doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 existed in the past. It will be a good history lesson for them. I am
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 planning to share the innovation
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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garments
Correct article usage
the garments

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 industry that we have made. For my
speech
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I will
be needing
Wrong verb form
need

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be needing. Consider changing it.

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 a mike and a speaker. I hope you can arrange that for me. I am kind of nervous as I have never given a
speech
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in front of so many people. Take care, Samiha

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logical structure
Great job structuring your letter clearly with distinct paragraphs for each topic you were addressing. This made your letter easy to follow and understand.
greeting and closing
Your greeting and closing were appropriately used, enhancing the overall professionalism and friendliness of your letter.
single idea per paragraph
You successfully maintained a single idea per paragraph, which contributed to the coherence of your letter.
complete response
To elevate your letter even higher, consider providing a bit more detail about why the subject of your speech is compelling on a personal level or linking its relevance more directly to the interests of your audience. This can make your letter even more engaging and persuasive.
suitable writing tone
The tone of your letter is mostly suitable and respectful, conveying your requests and information clearly. To enhance it further, a little more formality could be applied in places, particularly when asking for equipment or expressing concerns about speaking in public. This would ensure a consistently professional tone throughout.
Task Response
Your choice to write about a significant historical event and its impact is excellent and likely to interest an international audience.
Cohesion
Your request for specific equipment was clear and directly addressed the requirements for your speech, showing good planning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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