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Writing Samples /
Band 6

You will have a speech about your country on the international college event. Write a letter to the event’s planners about the following: - Ask about the date of the event - What speech you prepared/why it should be interesting -What equipment you will need for your speech

#speech #country #college #event #event’s #planners #date #-what #equipment
Dear John, Hope you are doing well. As you know, my
speech
 about my country
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the international college
event
 is due soon.
Therefore
, I wanted to ask
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 questions
as well as
 share some ideas I had regarding the
event
. I am aware that the
event
 will be taking place in May 2023.
However
, I do not know the exact date of the
event
 so can you please update me on the date and time? As for the
speech
, I was planning to talk about the language war that we fought against Pakistan in 1971. Upon researching a bit, I found
bangladesh
Change the capitalization
Bangladesh
show examples
 to be the only country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 fought for their language. I believe other students should know that a war like that
ever
Correct your spelling
never
show examples
 existed in the past. It will be a good history lesson for them. I am
also
 planning to share the innovation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
garments
Correct article usage
the garments
show examples
 industry that we have made. For my
speech
, I will
be needing
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 a mike and a speaker. I hope you can arrange that for me. I am kind of nervous as I have never given a
speech
 in front of so many people. Take care, Samiha
Submitted by samihareza14 on

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logical structure
Great job structuring your letter clearly with distinct paragraphs for each topic you were addressing. This made your letter easy to follow and understand.
greeting and closing
Your greeting and closing were appropriately used, enhancing the overall professionalism and friendliness of your letter.
single idea per paragraph
You successfully maintained a single idea per paragraph, which contributed to the coherence of your letter.
complete response
To elevate your letter even higher, consider providing a bit more detail about why the subject of your speech is compelling on a personal level or linking its relevance more directly to the interests of your audience. This can make your letter even more engaging and persuasive.
suitable writing tone
The tone of your letter is mostly suitable and respectful, conveying your requests and information clearly. To enhance it further, a little more formality could be applied in places, particularly when asking for equipment or expressing concerns about speaking in public. This would ensure a consistently professional tone throughout.
Task Response
Your choice to write about a significant historical event and its impact is excellent and likely to interest an international audience.
Cohesion
Your request for specific equipment was clear and directly addressed the requirements for your speech, showing good planning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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