IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where condition are different such as the Sahara desert Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages of visiting this areas.

#tourists #places #condition #sahara #desert #antarctica #areas
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Nowadays it seems to be boring for people to go to travel to some locations where they used to go, people would like to have some exciting experience and their trip, so they choose
places
Use synonyms
 like
to
Change preposition
apply
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the Sahara desert or
Use synonyms
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 that ordinary they cannot even name. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will view the advantages and drawbacks of the Sahara desert
place
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, there are more benefits to
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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an
Correct your spelling
and
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 exploring new
places
Use synonyms
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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as
Change preposition
like
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 Antarctica, as well as, one of the advantages is
that
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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they visit
as
Change preposition
apply
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a unique
place
Use synonyms
. They will discover
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new spaces.
Although
Linking Words
 these
places
Use synonyms
 are hot and cold, they like to go and explore unique
places
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, they will see the scenery of nature that they have never seen in their life,
moreover
Linking Words
, it will be
enjoyment
Replace the word
enjoyable
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 for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are two disadvantages of going to like
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as it is not a suitable facilities and health damage,
first
Linking Words
 is that if they visit a
place
Use synonyms
 like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Antarctica, there may not be favourable conditions for living in there.
No
Add the punctuation
,No
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 there
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may not
a
Add a missing verb
be a
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hospital and coffee bars like
this
Linking Words
 as well as these
places
Use synonyms
' temperatures may be high as hot or so cold. ,
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
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 it will provide serious health problems
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 skin damage. In conclusion, visiting
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
 contains its own excitement.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, if humanity does
it’s
Replace the word
its
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 job it will make their journey less dangerous and more conscious.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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