more and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

#people #sugar #drinks #measures #trend

The past 50 years have witnessed a dramatic hike in the consumption of sugary beverages. Whilst the main cause behind

such

a trend is the massive influence of celebrities, I personally believe that the best tactic to mitigate

this

issue is

Change preposition

apply

show examples

governmental

Add an article

the governmental

show examples

intrusion. In

this

essay, the main causes of

this

phenomenon along with some recommended measures will be

further

elaborated. On the one hand, chief among the causes of

this

tendency is the image of success and glory which is attached to influencers and attracts teenagers' attention.

This

means that when young people are exposed to various commercials which keep telling them that they will only be more successful if they consume these

drinks

, they will subconsciously crave these

drinks

and will boost their desire to purchase them.

This

can be witnessed by

Pepsi

Correct article usage

the Pepsi

show examples

advertisement which was endorsed by Mo Salah.

Therefore

, what can be said is that

this

massive endorsement by glamorous figures gravitates youth towards

unhealthy

Correct article usage

an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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full of sugary

drinks

On the other hand

, in order to tackle the overconsumption of

drinks

which are loaded with sugars, authorities ought to guarantee that citizens have thorough insights into the possible hazards of

such

beverages.

In other words

, if governments used the exact weapon that lures juniors, they would be able to counterattack the erroneous thoughts about these

drinks

. An eminent example of

this

is the public education campaign which is conducted by Messi to combat addiction.

Accordingly

, in a final analysis, the salient contributions of public figures can be redirected by the supervision of authorities. In conclusion, after

this

essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that not only do influencers shape teenagers'

perception

Fix the agreement mistake

perceptions

show examples

, but

also

they may draw them to health-deteriorating habits.

Thus

, I am convinced that without governmental intrusion, minors could not have been protected.

Submitted by ericssonsony551 on Mon Jan 09 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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more and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people today prefer to consume fast food rather than traditional home cooked meals. What are the reasons for this ? Do you think this is a positive or negative developments.