more and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

The past 50 years have witnessed a dramatic hike in the consumption of sugary beverages. Whilst the main cause behind
such
a trend is the massive influence of celebrities, I personally believe that the best tactic to mitigate
this
issue is
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
governmental
Add an article
the governmental
show examples
intrusion. In
this
essay, the main causes of
this
phenomenon along with some recommended measures will be
further
elaborated. On the one hand, chief among the causes of
this
tendency is the image of success and glory which is attached to influencers and attracts teenagers' attention.
This
means that when young people are exposed to various commercials which keep telling them that they will only be more successful if they consume these
drinks
, they will subconsciously crave these
drinks
and will boost their desire to purchase them.
This
can be witnessed by
Pepsi
Correct article usage
the Pepsi
show examples
advertisement which was endorsed by Mo Salah.
Therefore
, what can be said is that
this
massive endorsement by glamorous figures gravitates youth towards
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
full of sugary
drinks
.
On the other hand
, in order to tackle the overconsumption of
drinks
which are loaded with sugars, authorities ought to guarantee that citizens have thorough insights into the possible hazards of
such
beverages.
In other words
, if governments used the exact weapon that lures juniors, they would be able to counterattack the erroneous thoughts about these
drinks
. An eminent example of
this
is the public education campaign which is conducted by Messi to combat addiction.
Accordingly
, in a final analysis, the salient contributions of public figures can be redirected by the supervision of authorities. In conclusion, after
this
essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that not only do influencers shape teenagers'
perception
Fix the agreement mistake
perceptions
show examples
, but
also
they may draw them to health-deteriorating habits.
Thus
, I am convinced that without governmental intrusion, minors could not have been protected.
Submitted by ericssonsony551 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: