IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers ae not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompained by an adult. what is your opinion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #ae #doors #time #night #adult
In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
 have applied curfew in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. Since covid have spread all across the world teenagers can't go to school and
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
 but can go outside their house with
adult
Add an article
an adult
the adult
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
night
Add an article
the night
a night
show examples
 time.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 follows
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 law in the world many people that
us
Correct article usage
the us
show examples
 is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 country. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
 should
removed
Change the verb form
remove
show examples
curfew
Correct article usage
the curfew
show examples
 as soon as possible because
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 destroyed and
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
also
 get tarnished. Many children and
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 can't be able to go to school and
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
.
Their
Change the pronoun
They
show examples
 get bored and lazy while
siiting
Correct your spelling
sitting
 at home.
Their
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 are not able to perform
exercise
Add an article
the exercise
an exercise
show examples
 and only use technology.
For instance
 their use
xbox
Change the capitalization
Xbox
show examples
 computer laptop mobile etc As a
Correct your spelling
consequence
consquence
Add a comma
,consquence
show examples
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
 have done better
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 have
allow
Change the verb form
allowed
show examples
 individuals to come out at night while other countries are not allowing that too. But
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
 have
allowing
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
 children and
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 to come out with adults. But
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
 have opened only important shops like
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
pharmacy
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmacies
show examples
 and
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 but for
teenagers
Add a comma
,teenagers
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 have closed
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
restaurants
 and pubs. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
 have taken good care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 because
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 have thinking well being for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
atleast
Correct your spelling
least
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 should allow liquor shops to be opened since liquor is very common in us and
also
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 should allow
brothel
Fix the agreement mistake
brothels
show examples
 to be opened because many young people live single in us.
Submitted by shoeb.ontario on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: