In many countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the reasons for this trend, and how can governments address this issue?

Rate of
crime
Use synonyms
is rising in almost all areas. In
this
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essay, I will give a reason of
this
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and enable ways for parlament how to fix
this
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.
Firstly
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,
this
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mark growing because of ever-increasing number of oligarchs, so peoples wants to have more moneys.
This
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can be explained by fact the probably all individuals compared themselves to other, so they think: if other can, whe i can not?
This
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is largely
due to
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enormous number of human became rich with unfair way,
such
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as: scum, blame, stoling government moneys and something like
this
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.
However
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, other people do some
crime
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because they are in trouble or live in a street.
In addition
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,
crime
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it's not only about grab, it
also
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can be a graffity drawing and etc. it is widespread because citizens wants to demonstrate their anger because of the government decision(
such
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as: cutting off forests, demolishing an old tower block for building a road, demolishing some monument and others).
Nevertheless
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, it can be solved in different ways.
For instance
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, parlament can provide a death punishment for gaining illegal money for some actions by politicans. The ideal example for
this
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is China, they struggled with
this
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for many years, but after providing a death punishment
crime
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level among political witnessed a substantial reduction, another China's action that should be follow by other countries called "safe city", it is meaning that they located enormous number of cameras among the city.
On the other hand
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, states can overcome a
crime
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not only by control, they can struggling with a poority.
Following
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this
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, government can hear a publicity and do what they want. In conclusion,
crime
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excist because of lack of attention by president on citizens issues, but they can solve it if they pay more attention on real problems.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say why crime goes up, and say how the government can act.
task response
Give 2 or 3 main reasons only. Now there are too many ideas, so the answer feels mixed.
task response
Use examples that fit the point well. Some examples are not clear or are too extreme.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea for each body paragraph. This will help your essay feel easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words like First, Also, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Explain each point a bit more after you say it. Do not jump fast from one idea to another.
task response
You answered both the reasons and the solutions, so you tried to cover the full task.
coherence and cohesion
You used an introduction and a conclusion, which gives the essay a full shape.
task response
You gave some examples, like China and cameras in the city.
Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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