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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that increasing businesses and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #businesses #contacts #countries #development #identities
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In the modern era ,
people
Use synonyms
 can make a bond with other country
masses
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 with the help of phones . Few individuals think that inclining businesses and cultural contacts between
nations
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 is a positive growth ,
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however
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,however
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 others are against
this
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 notion . I totally agree with formal views and will discuss both views along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 , with a formal statement .
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First
Correct article usage
The first
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 and foremost reason is
people
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 get more
knowledge
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 about new products and those have good value in any kind of work with the help of
countries
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 can be able to gain more profit in future years or they can set
a new targets
Correct the article-noun agreement
new targets
a new target
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 for more gaining .
For example
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, in the year , 2015 a survey was conducted by UNO which was indicating 70% of companies grow their new target by increasing contacts with other
nations
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 .
Moreover
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, with the help of cultural contact with other
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nations
Add a comma
,nations
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people
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 are getting more
knowledge
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 about other cultures which help them learn new things from other
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nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 and it
also
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 stops
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea of hating
for
Change preposition
apply
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others as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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maintains good relations with other
countries
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 .
On the other hand
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, with the latter view . Individuals are against upper paragraph views because they think when they start
contacting
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contact
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 with other cultural
masses
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then
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 maybe they start following other
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nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
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 cultural values and it will
also
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 impact other
masses
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 so with it how other
countries
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 become more multicultural.
For instance
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 , in the year, 2010 when
people
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 began the use social media they got more
knowledge
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 about other cultures of
Use synonyms
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
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 so with it they changed their lifestyles. In my point of view, when
countries
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 start good relations in any business field
then
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 they can set up new brands for other
nation
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 which will help to incline national income and many
masses
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 can get jobs under the new companies so the unemployment problem start
goes
Wrong verb form
going
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 down . In conclusion, good bonds are always creat by talking it is a fact so if
Use synonyms
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 talk to other
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nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 it will grow the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of lifestyle or they can get good manners , but without losing their own cultural values .
Submitted by gurkiratbadesha36 on

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