some people believed that government should make sure to make people to go on a diet. while others believe that the individuals need to take care of their own diet and health. discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Population
Use synonyms
fitness is one of the authority's responsibilities,
hence
Linking Words
many argue that the authority should enforce their
population
Use synonyms
to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, many contradict
this
Linking Words
idea and believe fitness is individual responsibility. In my personal opinion, going on a
diet
Use synonyms
is individual
Use synonyms
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
and
people
Use synonyms
should have choices on how to do it. Governments are responsible to ensure the basic
rights
Use synonyms
of their
people
Use synonyms
, including
health
Use synonyms
. With the increasing number of metabolic diseases,
such
Linking Words
as diabetes and stroke, it is reasonable for the government to prevent mortality and morbidity by enforcing their citizens to go on a
diet
Use synonyms
and take care of their
health
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can be done by routine
health
Use synonyms
status monitoring in the appointed local clinic, and if the results of the tests are unsatisfactory, the government may give them several
health
Use synonyms
regimens to follow
such
Linking Words
as a strict
diet
Use synonyms
and rigorous exercise.
This
Linking Words
direct intervention is helpful to prevent the number of metabolic diseases
hence
Linking Words
increasing the level of
population
Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that society should take care of their own well-being since
although
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
is basic human
Use synonyms
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
, the way of being healthy is a personal choice. There are various approaches to gaining
health
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
may be different among
Use synonyms
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
, based on their needs and preferences.
For instance
Linking Words
, many lactose intolerant
people
Use synonyms
opt to be pescatarians because they can not process lactose or meat, but they are still healthy though their
diet
Use synonyms
choice is uncommon. The authority
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the responsibility to ensure that their society is healthy, but it does not mean that they have the freedom to control their citizen's life
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
.
Health
Use synonyms
is a personal matter and the one who truly understands what they need is the person itself.
Hence
Linking Words
, the public should take good care of their well-being. In conclusion, even though
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
are responsible for its
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
, they have no
Use synonyms
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to interfere with the life choices of its
people
Use synonyms
, as
health
Use synonyms
is a personal matter and individualized.
Submitted by rosacea.medicus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: