IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the development of health
care
Use synonyms
, there is a high chance of providing beneficial treatment for a greater number of the elderly population. The ability of society to cope with the rising numbers of the old generation and how it can be managed will be discussed thoroughly in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Caring and compassion should be taught since childhood in order to reform responsible and compassionate adults in the future. If the children see that ageing and becoming sick is a normal process in life, they will become adults with more compassion.  Community education on proper ways of responsibility and the development of geriatric
care
Use synonyms
 facilities should be initiated because some patients may need constant supervision and
care
Use synonyms
 that the children/caretakers may not be able to provide. The government and voluntary organizations should come forward to provide assistance like providing hospice
care
Use synonyms
 or giving funding. In my motherland, the majority of health
care
Use synonyms
 is free of cost and there are special discounts and financial aids if the patient is in geriatric
care
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has enabled both parties in giving and receiving proper
care
Use synonyms
. Of course, there are always going to be people who would misuse the funding and use it to their benefit so to prevent that strict rules and regulations must be implemented and should be punished
accordingly
Linking Words
. So, overall, the ability of society to cope with the growing numbers of older generations is manageable with a few adjustments for the betterment of the future and the community should be encouraged to normalize caring elders.
Submitted by Nimz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: