The values we gain from our parents and family have more influence over our future success than any skills or knowledge learned in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are many opinions of people who believe that the values received from parents most influence a
person
's
future
success. In any case, I don't quite agree with him and I think that
school
can give more for the
future
, but parents
also
give values,
although
not to the same extent.
Firstly
, at
school
, a
person
receives a large amount of knowledge, on the basis of which he chooses his
future
activity.
Also
, the
child
's socialization takes place at
school
. Socialization is an important stage in a
person
's life, which, unfortunately, the family cannot fully provide.
Moreover
, without socialization, a
child
can become withdrawn. Because of
this
, any problems in society may appear in the
future
.
Secondly
, schools often have various clubs,
such
as physical education, music, and so on. Extracurricular activities are
also
conducted in numerous disciplines, among which the
child
can choose an activity to his liking and even decide on his
future
profession. In conclusion, I would like to say that
school
is an important stage in everyone's life.
School
influences the choice of
future
activities, and at
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
a
child
acquires communication skills with peers and adults. But it is important not to forget that the family
also
makes a huge contribution to the formation of personality and development of the
child
. Family is all that people experience together inside the house: joy and sorrow, well-being or problems and difficulties.
Therefore
, it is definitely impossible to say that any of these social institutions are more important in a
person
's life.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on specific examples or case studies that illustrate the points being made. This could involve providing more detailed scenarios or statistics to substantiate claims.
coherence cohesion
Focus on ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Utilizing linking words or phrases can enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Integrate more insights related to how school aids in developing interpersonal skills or specific career skills compared to family influence. This could enrich the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and summarizing key points.
task achievement
The writing demonstrates a solid structure, with paragraphs dedicated to specific themes or ideas related to school and family influences.
task achievement
The conclusion reinforces the key message that both family and school play important roles, which adds depth to the analysis presented.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instilled
  • emotional intelligence
  • resilience
  • perseverance
  • theoretical
  • irreplaceable
  • long-term success
  • professional world
  • life's challenges
  • moral values
  • decision-making
  • support system
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