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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people have benefited from modern communications technology, but some other people have not benefited from; to what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #communications #technology
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The development of new
communication
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 methods, especially telecommunications and its related sophisticated devices has improved our daily lives. But some
people
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 think that after all, they do not get any advantage from these innovations. I believe that technology was invented to serve
people
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 but we have to know how to use it. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electrical devices and telecommunications have become increased, which help us collect new information better, become more well-informed and connect us with each other wherever we are. Because of these technologies,
people
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 in remote, rural areas have as equal an opportunity to communicate as those in urban areas; the old "
communication
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 gaps" have disappeared. Needless to say, students who live in the countryside have accessed global knowledge easily despite
of
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apply
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having
distance
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distant
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.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, professional employees, who are disabled can work at home but they still ensure job performance. Telecommunications are solving the
labor
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labour
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 shortage crisis in the
21th
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21st
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 century, which is
serious
Add an article
a serious
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 problem
of
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in
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 every country, nowadays.
However
Linking Words
, media and
communication
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 devices
such
Linking Words
 as television, phone and radio
has
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have
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 rapidly spread, which leads to
people
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ignore
Wrong verb form
ignoring
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 face-to-face relationships. With the development of social media websites on the Internet,
people
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 spend almost time making virtual relationships. A concrete example is a new disease of the
21th
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21st
show examples
 century. The new disease is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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addiction to social networks. According to the report of sociologists , the
numbers
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number
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 of
people
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, who log in to websites
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook , Twitter and Instagram over 13 hours per day to connect to others and create for themselves a dream virtual life
instead
Linking Words
going
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of going
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 outside and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 relationships has dramatically increased in the
last
Linking Words
 two years. Taking all of
this
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 into account,
communication
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 is always crucial activities to
people
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 or
business
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businesses
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 either small or large.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
presence
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the presence
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 of telecommunication has brought a significant advantage to
people
Use synonyms
 and society.
Submitted by rosacea.medicus on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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