IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

¿Hasta qué punto está de acuerdo con la siguiente afirmación? Todo lo que es bueno para ti también puede ser malo para ti si lo haces demasiado.

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Generar hábitos que nos alienten a sentirnos más felices
por
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 las cosas buenas que podemos hacer puede ayudarnos a
ser
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 mejores, desempeñarnos mejor y reducir nuestras emociones
por
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 las cosas malas que hayamos hecho. Hay una opinión que dice que todo lo que es bueno
para
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 ti también puede
ser
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 malo si te excedes. Estoy totalmente de acuerdo con esta frase porque algunos ejemplos, como consumir demasiada comida rápida en la calle podría conducir a la obesidad o
el
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 uso prolongado del teléfono celular o de las máquinas electrónicas podría dañar nuestra
salud
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 mental y visual. En primer lugar, muchas personas no se dan cuenta de que consumir demasiada comida rápida en la calle puede
ser
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 perjudicial
para
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 la
salud
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, ya que todos los ingredientes pueden contener un montón de conservantes y colorantes, cosas que pueden afectar nuestro cuerpo y llevarnos a la obesidad,
por
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 ejemplo. Hace muchos años, vivía solo, trabajaba y estudiaba al mismo tiempo y no tenia tiempo
para
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 cocinar y recurrí a comprar comida rápida,
para
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mi
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 estuvo bien porque solucionaba rápido
mi
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 dieta, pero a la vez no era gran cosa porque me estaba afectando
salud
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 y
mi
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 cuerpo, llevándome a tener serios problemas de
salud
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. Sin embargo,
mi
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 baja autoestima hizo que recurriera al médico recomendándome una dieta bala y tomando algunas rutinas de ejercicio.
Por
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 otro lado, la generación de hoy, utilizamos muchos dispositivos electrónicos
para
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 facilitar nuestra vida diaria, ya sea
para
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el
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 entretenimiento,
el
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 trabajo o
el
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 estudio, sin embargo, olvidamos que la vida podría
ser
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 mucho mejor si usáramos menos cualquier tipo de dispositivo electrónico, así como nuestros padres, quienes no tuvieron la oportunidad de entender ni manipular ningún tipo de aparato como lo es ahora la computadora y
el
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 celular.for the bad things we may have done. There is an opinion that says that anything
that is
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 good for you can
also
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 be bad if you overdo it. I totally agree with
this
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 phrase because some examples,
such
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 as consuming too much fast street food could lead to obesity or the use of cell phones or electronic machines for a long while could damage our mental and visual strength.
First
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 of all, many people do not realize that consuming too much fast street food can be harmful to well-being, since all the ingredients can contain a bunch of preservatives and dyes-stuff that can affect our body and lead us to obesity, as an example many years ago, I lived alone, worked and studied at the same time and did not have time to cook and I resorted to buying fast food, For me, it was good because it quickly solved my diet, but at the same,
time
Add an article
the time
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 it was not a big deal because it was affecting my health and my body, leading me to have serious health problems.
However
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, my low self-esteem made me turn to the doctor
recommended
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recommending
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 a bullet-ridden diet and taking some exercise routines.
On the other hand
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, today's generation, uses many electronic devices to facilitate our daily lives, whether for entertainment, work or study,
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however
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,however
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 we forget that life could be much better if we used less of these
type
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types
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 of electronic
device
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devices
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 as well as our parents, who did not have the opportunity to understand or manipulate any type of devices as it is now the computer and the cell phone. In ,conclusion these two simple examples show my opinion of using something excessively, and I am sure that it will always have terrible results for everyone.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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