IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some students tend to spend time working somewhere instead of going to a university directly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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A few
inviduals
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individuals
 like to
strat
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start
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 their job after completing their basic education in lieu of pursuing their
tertiary- level
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tertiary-level
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 education. Both
the
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apply
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points have their own merits and demerits which will be discussed in
details
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detail
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 in
this
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 essay. The prime benefit
for
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of
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 starting a
work
Use synonyms
 life at an early age is to gain
fiancial
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financial
 independence. Numerous people in our world are working towards
Correct article usage
the acheivement
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acheivement
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achievement
 of
self reliance
Add a hyphen
self-reliance
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. Once a person starts a
proffesional
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professional
 life
than
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then
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 they are neither dependent on their family
or
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nor
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 on their friends or relatives.They can find a place of their own and from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young
age
Add a comma
,age
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 they will be able to manage their money. Another benefit is that when people are young they can adapt
any
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to any
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 culture and environment within
somedays
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some days
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.
Tey
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They
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understand
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understands
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 their responsibilities towards
work
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 and they perform it with utmost dedication and hard
work
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.
Moreover
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, they learn new things which were never taught in their
cirriculam
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curriculum
 for which they develop a nature
inqusity
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iniquity
inequity
inequality
 towards their
work
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. The foremost drawback of
this
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 evolution is that company
donot
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do not
don't
 get a
proper
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properly
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 qualified and experienced professional
hence
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 the training cost gets
increased
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increases
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. Nowadays management
have
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has
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 to conduct a
month
Replace the word
monthly
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 training programme so that people
comeout
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come out
 from their childhood and understand the importance of their
work
Use synonyms
. To cite an example many banks hire trainees
on
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in
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 which they have
invest
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invested
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 millions of
ruppes
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rupees
on
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in
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their
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apply
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training and development . As it would be very costly for the
managment
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management
 they prefer to get already trained and experienced
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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. The other drawback is that
atrainee
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a trainee
trainee
 would get a very lowpqackcheck in
comparision
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comparison
 to the experienced staff . As
this
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 is the main reason labour
turnoverrate
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turnover rate
 would increase in any industry. In conclusion , both the points have their own advantages and disadvantages and it depends upon the person whether they
want
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towant
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 attain proper education or gain experience and become a
proffesional
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professional
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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