Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #school #children #range #subjects

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Nowadays, there is always an argument about letting children in older

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

It seems that school may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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study a wide range of

subjects

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I believe it has both positive and negative effects on elder communities learning various

courses

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or focusing on several

courses

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some people advise elder individuals should take numerous

courses

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they would gain more knowledge in different fields than other peers who concentrate on a few

subjects

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. They could handle different problems in different areas since they

also

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

learn in these fields.

For example

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, intelligent technology students usually

would

Verb problem

apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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stay at home since they need to do their projects when they are in university. They often need to solve the issues for food, and most of them would order rather than cook meals as they do not know how to cook.

Thus

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if some of them have studied cooking, it would be convenient to cook meals for themselves.

However

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, others suggest teenagers in university should concentrate on a small range of studies in older schools since they need to use deeper knowledge for a living.

For instance

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when university students

are graduated

Wrong verb form

graduate

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are graduated. Consider changing it.

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, they need to find a job which is relevant to the major they are studying. To find a job in an area, they need to study more depth knowledge from relative

courses

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

rather than learn a lot of separate information which is useless.

Therefore

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, elder students are not suitable for learning various

subjects

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they are not at the stage of discovering what areas they are interested in. In conclusion, my opinion is children in old schools should not learn a wide range of

courses

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they need to get a deep understanding of their several

subjects

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which can lead them to find a good job.

Besides

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, younger communities are more suitable than

elder

Correct your spelling

older

The word elder doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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people to study lots of

subjects

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in different areas because they to find their interested

subjects

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and consider what they want to do in the future.

doud99697Tue Jan 10 2023

task achievement

Your essay addresses both views on the topic, but the arguments could be more balanced and developed in depth. You could provide more examples and elaborate further on each point to strengthen your task response.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly define your stance in the introduction and maintain it consistently throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your ideas needs improvement. Transition sentences between paragraphs can help maintain coherence.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive phrases and provide a clear structure with well-defined sections for introduction, body, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps give readers a clear start and end point.

task achievement

You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument before giving your opinion, which is beneficial for a balanced discussion.

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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