Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is always an argument about letting children in older
school
study a wide range of Fix the agreement mistake
schools
subjects
. I believe it has both positive and negative effects on elder communities learning various Use synonyms
courses
or focusing on several Use synonyms
courses
.
Some people advise elder individuals should take numerous Use synonyms
courses
because they would gain more knowledge in different fields than other peers who concentrate on a few Use synonyms
subjects
. They could handle different problems in different areas since they Use synonyms
also
learn in these fields. Linking Words
For example
, intelligent technology students usually Linking Words
would
stay at home since they need to do their projects when they are in university. They often need to solve the issues for food, and most of them would order rather than cook meals as they do not know how to cook. Verb problem
apply
Thus
, if some of them have studied cooking, it would be convenient to cook meals for themselves.
Linking Words
However
, others suggest teenagers in university should concentrate on a small range of studies in older schools since they need to use deeper knowledge for a living. Linking Words
For instance
, when university students Linking Words
are graduated
, they need to find a job which is relevant to the major they are studying. To find a job in an area, they need to study more depth knowledge from relative Wrong verb form
graduate
courses
rather than learn a lot of separate information which is useless. Use synonyms
Therefore
, elder students are not suitable for learning various Linking Words
subjects
because they are not at the stage of discovering what areas they are interested in.
In conclusion, my opinion is children in old schools should not learn a wide range of Use synonyms
courses
because they need to get a deep understanding of their several Use synonyms
subjects
which can lead them to find a good job. Use synonyms
Besides
, younger communities are more suitable than Linking Words
elder
people to study lots of Correct your spelling
older
subjects
in different areas because they to find their interested Use synonyms
subjects
and consider what they want to do in the future.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views on the topic, but the arguments could be more balanced and developed in depth. You could provide more examples and elaborate further on each point to strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly define your stance in the introduction and maintain it consistently throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your ideas needs improvement. Transition sentences between paragraphs can help maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and provide a clear structure with well-defined sections for introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps give readers a clear start and end point.
task achievement
You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument before giving your opinion, which is beneficial for a balanced discussion.