New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.
The pace of technological development has infiltrated almost every aspect of children, profoundly altering the way they evaluate their leisure
time
. It is my contention that this
propensity of change is akin to a double-edged sword by ensuring both merits and demerits concurrently.
First and foremost, presently, kids allocate a major part of their free time
on the internet so to say, social media platforms, unconsciously scrolling for hours through their smartphones and computers. All useful and informative hobbies that juveniles can find temporary gratification in have now been substituted with high technological tools such
as virtual reality headsets, continuously evolving smartphones and computers. To exemplify this
statement, the newest generation members are growing up as introverts as they lack basic communicational skills to engage with their peers, all owing to the fact that they spend most of their time
playing video games and wasting their time
surfing through internet. Another disadvantage of this
trend is that children are becoming detached from reality as AI technology becomes more advanced on a daily basis. For example
, this
overarching AI development causes kids to lose touch with reality, therefore
, forcing them to utilize more time
in this
cyberspace.
Correct determiner usage
apply
Moreover
, it is also
true that technology can be a valuable asset if its usefulness is put into good practice. It is worth noting that a lot of students can now have access to unlimited resources of information and data to hone their skills to able to acquire profound education opportunities in the future. To set an example, chatGPT bot technology partially eliminates the need for teachers because of its advanced capabilities for fast delivery of information.
In conclusion, while
the advent of modern technologies has laid the pathway for new challenges to take place in the context of youngsters, the advantages of change such
as infinite data sources and instantaneous communication opportunities are equally significant.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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task achievement
For task response, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a distinct aspect of the topic. While your essay broadly covers the prompt, expanding on specific examples and how they impact the argument would strengthen your response. For example, mentioning a particular study or statistic when discussing the downsides of technology on social skills could provide a more compelling argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to develop smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them. Use varied but clear signposting language to guide the reader through your argument. For instance, phrases like "On the other hand," or "Furthermore," help to navigate between contrasting points or add additional support.
general
Integrating a counter-argument and refutation could enhance both coherence and task response. After presenting a point, you might briefly acknowledge a contrasting viewpoint and then state why your perspective still holds. This not only shows depth of thinking but also strengthens your argument.
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