The government should spend money on promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sport and art events in communities. To which extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #sport #art #school #events #communities

There are a lot of arguments regarding whether it is more essential for the national authorities to invest in

sports

and

art

in school, rather than professional

sports

and

art

exhibitions in public. I disagree with

this

statement as I perceive that public

sports

and

art

events

take an important role in community entertainment as well as inspiring adolescent to find their hobbies. The most convincing reason for holding my view is that, as long as the government invests money in public

sports

and

art

events

, these programs will reach a wider community. Based on that, not only

children

but

also

parents

also

have chances to participate in

sports

and professional

events

, and all the citizens might be impacted and encouraged to exercise eventually.

Moreover

, these

events

can be a beneficial opportunity for parents and offspring to understand each other, and from ,that they can tighten their relationships via cheerful and exciting moments.

As a result

, beyond social value, professional

sports

and

art

events

can be the connection that enhances family values. The

further

reason for my decision is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the younger adolescents will be inspired to follow their hobbies by watching live

sports

and

art

events

. Watching the athletes playing on the court will bring a life experience to

children

as the speed and flow of the match can bring them through certain types of emotions from happiness to disappointment and

then

pride. These memories will be vivid in

children

’s minds and somehow sparks their interest in the sport. The

children

will be motivated to practise and pursue their speciality which is beneficial for not only their physical but

also

mental health.

Although

schools can educate students to participate in

sports

they might lack the freedom and excitement for

children

to follow. In conclusion, it is my firm belief that investing money in professional and

art

events

will be beneficial for communities.

This

is because of the positive result in promoting not only social values but

also

family values; it takes a vital element in educating and inspiring

children

to follow their hobbies. Given

this

situation, it is recommended that more social

events

should be operated to encourage people to exercise and advance the family value.

Submitted by khanhhuyen131hp on Wed Jan 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

367 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many believe that traditional classroom-based education will be replaced by alternative methods by the year 2050. What is your opinion?
In the realm of education, the discourse surrounding face-to-face classes will be replaced by other modes of education in the future has generated significant interest and debate among scholars, policymakers, and educators. The assertion that traditional classrooms will be altered by other teaching methods is a subject of considerable discussion. While advocates argue that classroom-based education will be changed to the year 2050, critics contend that it cannot be replaced as it is an effective method. This essay seeks to delve into this issue by examining why individuals think it will be changed and why it cannot be changed.
7.5
band
Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same TV shows, advertisements, fashion and follow the same brands. To what extent the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?
In the past years, due to a lack of media and telecommunication, boundaries between countries were clear, whereas, nowadays, these differences have disappeared. While there are some benefits associated with changing this trend, I believe the main drawbacks are more substantial.
6
band
Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages? Keywords: health Type: Advantages & Disadvantages
Nowadays, Healthcare services are a basic necessity. Since private companies took over this health sector costs have skyrocketed. Due to this common people are unable to afford healthcare services. I strongly agree with this argument. In my opinion, the privatization of healthcare has more cons than advantages. It is the rich that are able to afford basic necessity services.
4.5
band
It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Agree or disagree?
How to study effectively is a concerning issue for all students and their parents. This author opines that learners should live in universities than staying at home because of its freedom in studying and no families pressures. It is vital to acknowledge that it is necessary for pupils to learn abroad in schools to move to class easier and more convenient with smaller distance. Due to the fact that if they live at home, they will spend a lot of time to go to schools everyday and struggle to emerge in college on time. As a consequence, their academic achievements will see a significant decline and they will have many difficulties in studying. Therefore, staying at home will bring people who learn in universities more inconvenience than living at schools. Another key component the case for living in universities is avoiding families pressures....
6.5
band
Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do the advantages of living away from home for university studies outweigh the disadvantages?
University-age students often live with their parents and relatives, but some may have to move their place of residence when their university is outside their locality. While relocating to a different place for university studies does benefit students in some respects, I consider that the downsides of this move are more considerable.

The government should spend money on promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sport and art events in communities. To which extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many believe that traditional classroom-based education will be replaced by alternative methods by the year 2050. What is your opinion?

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same TV shows, advertisements, fashion and follow the same brands. To what extent the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages? Keywords: health Type: Advantages & Disadvantages

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Agree or disagree?

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do the advantages of living away from home for university studies outweigh the disadvantages?