The government should spend money on promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sport and art events in communities. To which extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #sport #art #school #events #communities

There are a lot of arguments regarding whether it is more essential for the national authorities to invest in

sports

and

art

in school, rather than professional

sports

and

art

exhibitions in public. I disagree with

this

statement as I perceive that public

sports

and

art

events

take an important role in community entertainment as well as inspiring adolescent to find their hobbies. The most convincing reason for holding my view is that, as long as the government invests money in public

sports

and

art

events

, these programs will reach a wider community. Based on that, not only

children

but

also

parents

also

have chances to participate in

sports

and professional

events

, and all the citizens might be impacted and encouraged to exercise eventually.

Moreover

, these

events

can be a beneficial opportunity for parents and offspring to understand each other, and from ,that they can tighten their relationships via cheerful and exciting moments.

As a result

, beyond social value, professional

sports

and

art

events

can be the connection that enhances family values. The

further

reason for my decision is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the younger adolescents will be inspired to follow their hobbies by watching live

sports

and

art

events

. Watching the athletes playing on the court will bring a life experience to

children

as the speed and flow of the match can bring them through certain types of emotions from happiness to disappointment and

then

pride. These memories will be vivid in

children

’s minds and somehow sparks their interest in the sport. The

children

will be motivated to practise and pursue their speciality which is beneficial for not only their physical but

also

mental health.

Although

schools can educate students to participate in

sports

they might lack the freedom and excitement for

children

to follow. In conclusion, it is my firm belief that investing money in professional and

art

events

will be beneficial for communities.

This

is because of the positive result in promoting not only social values but

also

family values; it takes a vital element in educating and inspiring

children

to follow their hobbies. Given

this

situation, it is recommended that more social

events

should be operated to encourage people to exercise and advance the family value.

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

367 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The government should spend money on promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sport and art events in communities. To which extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many parts of the world are losing natural resources, such as forests, animals, and clean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Use specific reasons and details.

Some people believe that students should be free to choose what they study in the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is increasingly difficult to feed everyone in the world today. Some people believe that the best solution to solve is issue is for scientists to discover new ways of producing food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?