The government should spend money on promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sport and art events in communities. To which extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #sport #art #school #events #communities

There are a lot of arguments regarding whether it is more essential for the national authorities to invest in

sports

and

art

in school, rather than professional

sports

and

art

exhibitions in public. I disagree with

this

statement as I perceive that public

sports

and

art

events

take an important role in community entertainment as well as inspiring adolescent to find their hobbies. The most convincing reason for holding my view is that, as long as the government invests money in public

sports

and

art

events

, these programs will reach a wider community. Based on that, not only

children

but

also

parents

also

have chances to participate in

sports

and professional

events

, and all the citizens might be impacted and encouraged to exercise eventually.

Moreover

, these

events

can be a beneficial opportunity for parents and offspring to understand each other, and from ,that they can tighten their relationships via cheerful and exciting moments.

As a result

, beyond social value, professional

sports

and

art

events

can be the connection that enhances family values. The

further

reason for my decision is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the younger adolescents will be inspired to follow their hobbies by watching live

sports

and

art

events

. Watching the athletes playing on the court will bring a life experience to

children

as the speed and flow of the match can bring them through certain types of emotions from happiness to disappointment and

then

pride. These memories will be vivid in

children

’s minds and somehow sparks their interest in the sport. The

children

will be motivated to practise and pursue their speciality which is beneficial for not only their physical but

also

mental health.

Although

schools can educate students to participate in

sports

they might lack the freedom and excitement for

children

to follow. In conclusion, it is my firm belief that investing money in professional and

art

events

will be beneficial for communities.

This

is because of the positive result in promoting not only social values but

also

family values; it takes a vital element in educating and inspiring

children

to follow their hobbies. Given

this

situation, it is recommended that more social

events

should be operated to encourage people to exercise and advance the family value.

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

367 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The government should spend money on promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sport and art events in communities. To which extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre.

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, children should be free to enjoy their life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring othet nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people feel that school should teach children how to be good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What skills people need to be a good parent?