IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

All children should be made to wear school uniform.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #school #uniform
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It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 all schoolchildren ought to wear a special
uniform
Use synonyms
. Personally, I
am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint since
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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every child should
treated
Change the verb form
be treated
show examples
 equally
according to
Linking Words
 the sense of belonging and
this
Linking Words
 essay will provide certain arguments
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement. On the one hand, wearing a
school
Use synonyms
uniform
Use synonyms
 expresses the feeling of being
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a certain community and
this
Linking Words
 helps
students
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enhance their performance at
school
Use synonyms
 since
school
Use synonyms
 uniforms are made suitable and comfortable for
students
Use synonyms
 that
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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looks
Correct subject-verb agreement
look
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 smart, inexpensive and easy to wash.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, special uniforms are considered one of the integral
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of today’s majority of the educational centers which
also
Linking Words
 expresses the ancient background and the beauty of our current education.
For example
Linking Words
, a number of universities and
schools
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 have designed a special
uniform
Use synonyms
 that indicates the ancient culture of the education
of
Change preposition
apply
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university or
school
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high
schools
Use synonyms
 do not require
an
Change the article
a
show examples
uniform
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 the fact that
,
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apply
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 uniforms should not be the primary concern of educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 and
schools
Use synonyms
 ought to focus on improving the process of learning,
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of the classes and hiring
well qualified
Add a hyphen
well-qualified
show examples
 teachers rather than on attire.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 majority of the high
schools
Use synonyms
 do not
entail
Verb problem
require
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 their
students
Use synonyms
 to wear a special
uniform
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 they pay more attention to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 the
lessons
Fix the agreement mistake
lesson
show examples
 quality since it is considered an essential factor than
uniform
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, having weighed everything mentioned
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, I can come to the conclusion
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that encouraging
students
Use synonyms
 to wear a
school
Use synonyms
uniform
Use synonyms
 is compulsory for the quality of the studying process.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas logically flow from one to the next. Pay attention to the use of transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve coherence.
task achievement
The introduction should clearly state the writer's opinion and provide a roadmap for the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion. Also, consider providing more specific examples to support the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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