IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should therefore be restricted.Do you agree or disagree?

Air
Use synonyms
 travel is one of the major sources of environmental pollution. Flying is bad for the planet because it contributes to global warming and increases
carbon
Use synonyms
 footprint. I agree with the set of people who believe that travelling by
air
Use synonyms
 should be kept under control
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss my notion
further
Linking Words
. First of all, commuting by aeroplane leads to climate change. The fuels used by flights generate a huge amount of gases in the atmosphere, especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in the upper
layer
Punctuation problem
layer,
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 where these prove to be hazardous.
Carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide released in the
air
Use synonyms
 adds up with other gases
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 their mixture produces toxic chemicals which stay in the environment for a longer period.
For example
Linking Words
, research shows that aeroplanes are responsible for almost fifteen per cent of global warming.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is advisable to prefer solutions that are greener for the planet.
Secondly
Linking Words
, aviation is
also
Linking Words
 one of the highest contributors to the increased
carbon
Use synonyms
 footprint.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person travelling by
air
Use synonyms
 produces almost two-fifty kilograms of
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide per kilometre, which is equal to the total
carbon
Use synonyms
 emission of a whole family in a year.
Although
Linking Words
 flights greatly save
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
 time, they have a harmful impact on the atmosphere. In conclusion, I just want to say that governments should put a limit on flight usage. A wider network of railways or roadways should be built for local travel
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 green technology should be worked upon for flight emissions. Until and unless
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 strict regulations are in place,
air
Use synonyms
 travel will indeed
hamper
Verb problem
harm
show examples
 our nature.

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task response
Show your view in the first line of the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Link ideas with clear moves like First, Then, Finally to guide the reader.
content
Check facts and use true data. Give strong, real examples to back the view.
task strength
Clear view on the topic.
coherence strength
The ideas are put in a logical order in paragraphs.
coherence strength
Some use of linking words to join ideas.
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