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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

#countries #food #outweigh
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There has been a
significat
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significant
 growth of fast
food
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 restaurants in the world together with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 inexpensive prices. Fast
food
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 is believed that it is unhealthy for
people
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 because of its chemical content;
however
Linking Words
, the benefits of the
food
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palys
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plays
 more
portion
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portions
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 in both undeveloped and developed
countries
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. The availability of fast
food
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 in many places is a disadvantage because the
food
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 is believed unsafe to be eaten. Making fast
food
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 serve faster than other
food
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,
there
Correct word choice
and there
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 are some chemical materials in the
food
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 that are assumed dangerous for
people
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 in the future. So by eating it, illnesses
such
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 as obesity will be found in the human body.
Thus
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, the drawback
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
food
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 is that it will badly impact
people
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some benefits of cheaper and widespread fast
food
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. One of which is that
people
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 in developing
countries
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 could afford the
food
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 without paying much
maney
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money
. It is commonly known that poor
countries
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 still have problems with starvation because of having less budget. With the existence of cheaper fast
food
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, poor
people
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 could purchase it with a lower budget, so that starving will not be a problem anymore in the
countries
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. In developed
countries
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, fast
food
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 restaurants could help
people
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 in the
countries
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 to accelerate waiting
time
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
serving
food
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. While commuting to work is really rapid in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
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 with almost no
time
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 for meals, the restaurants could provide them with
food
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 in a very short
time
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 and they can even eat on the way to work.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 advantage could provide a short
time
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 for
people
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 to have meals. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages of fast
food
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 in many
countries
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.
However
Linking Words
, the advantages are more massive in both poor and rich
countries
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 in accelerating
food
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 serving and its affordability.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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